its almost a week since i last update my blog. i'm kinda busy today but manage to escape from my work load just to make an account on what yesterday's nite out. yeap.. yesterday was my 2nd anni alright and no, it was not fun nor productive at all. *sigh*. first of all, it rained heavily yesterday so definately dar is stuck somewhere and will be back late. secondly, i was stucked in a long traffic jam at cte on my way home and the fare was close to 16 bucks! lastly, dar called me up at the very last minute saying that one of his business mate wishes to see him urgently to discuss about hps. i was kinda disappointed at first but dar said i can tagged along and then have dinner there. that was allright i suppose, and i didn't actually ask where he was meeting his mate. once i got home, i quickly tested the kids for their oral examination which will be conducted today. dar reached home at past 9pm and we then went out to meet his so-called associate. dar is now dealing with hps. so there i was standing in ang mo kio central at s11! a good bargain to celebrate my 2nd year wedding anni. you dun wanna know what we had for dinner but i'll tell you anyway. fried chicken & pizza. yeap... just dat. and the guys were talking about clinching a business deal all along so i just sat there keeping quiet. at first dar said it will only be a while but it dragged on and on until i almost fall asleep. there was absolutely no chance of a romantic nite out since it was near to midnite. but i still can't wait for the present exchange at home. i know dar got me something. he almost let the cat out of the bag the other day but i didn't bother to keep on asking. i thought it would be a nice surprise since i seldom get gifts from dar. we reached home a quarter past midnite and then exchanged gifts. dar liked my gift ~ a jeans and white t-shirt from giordano. i dunno wat to get him coz dar can be so very fussy when it comes to his personal belonging. he only like white tee. he is a plain simple old geek. i bought him a timberland athelete shoes once and he only wore it twice. i gave him a watch and he dun like it. so i was lucky enough when he said he like the jeans and the tee. and as for me, i finally got what i wanted although it's not close enough. i got a handheld from dar!!!! lurpe him deep deep coz he finally got me one. but damn! it's only a zire21 while i was looking to get at least a zire71 which has the stereo headphone jack and the built in camera or the tungsten E which has the office software and mp3s. ungrateful am i? but seriously, with zire21, all i can do is just play games and write simple notes.. i can't even type anything longer than 3 sentences! but nevertheless, i did thanked him for it and told him that i would lurve to have a zire71 or tungstenE for my birthday.. hehehe.. and that is how i spend my nite out on my anni yesterday. roger and out.

its lunch time now. take-5 to update my blog. ma, adik & droolz came over to my office yesterday to pick me up. droolz wanted me to see her new flat in punggol. her premium new flat, that's wat she called it. i was filled with jealousy the moment i stepped into her new flat. god, it was such a perfect layout, a home that i would want in future, just for me, dar and the kids, minus my in-laws. it was perfect for droolz, her husband and her 3 kids. although kitchen was small, the living room was so long you can definately play street soccer in there. the house was pre-equipped so droolz only have to think about her furnitures and kitchen cabinet. both bathroom (kitchen & master) have got this glass shower screen, living room tiled with ceramic flooring and all bedrooms got nice doors and parque flooring. ma said she like the house so much that she might think of finding one in punggol. congratulations once again to my lovable sister for getting a dream house that she love with no in-laws under the same roof. and she's paying $200 lesser than me although that's a 5-room flat as well. ergggghhh! oh and i spoke to dar about it and he, being the typical malay, of course have his own judgements about it. wait till he actually sees it for himself. i'm now dreaming of having a house like that in future.. again just for me, dar and the kids. paragraph deleted by author. reason : the often she read it, the more pressure she is!

i didn't manage to update my blog due to the fact that i'm kinda busy lately. busy with work and busy with my kids and lil bro-in-law, preparing them for their SAs. what have i become ~ a project admin, an accountant, a housewife, a part-time maid and now a tutor?! no wonder my fren was saying i looked haggard nowadays. plus, i have an urgent shipment going out to kobe, japan next week. i will be really tied down till then. nevertheless, i will try my best to update every possible details that i can. like yesterday. i went to far east square with tat (or her real name lisa) after work, knowing that she's now back in town after her trip to KL last weekend. i never expect to bump into my old frens there coz i never know that they'd still hang out at that place. so there we were, tat and me and a group of my frens, mostly guys. the exact place.. ermm.. i dun have to reveal where (juz in case next time dar snoops around! hehe). we had a fun time chatting abt old times. did i mention tat also knew them ~ yes, my friends are her friends and her friends are mine ~ ekekeke.. being the goody good wife who told her husband that she would behave when going out, esp wif tat, i drank sprite of course! tat was so engrossed wif her usual drink martini on the rocks wif dat lil olive which i ate in the end. we left the guys around 9.30pm and getting a cab in town area were so devastating. in the end we called for one and as usual has to dropped the mighty queen first at bishan park and then proceed back home alone. how thoughtful but being with the guys for 2 hours, after not meeting them for almost 3 years, is more wonderful than sharing the cab with tat.

i have to revamp my whole blog coz i cannot archive. thanks mussy for the link but i juz dunno how to do it in frontpage. arggghhh.. looks like i have to start afresh by typing my blogs in blogger itself which i find it hmmm.. useful and user friendly actually... kherkher. so much for my writings. looks like i have to post them in my webbie. this is sure one hell of a nightmare!

i did a terrible thing yesterday. me and dar usually talk before we go to sleep ~ all sorts of things, normally whatever happen during the day. but yesterday, i somehow tried to discuss a stupid matter which somehow might effect both our mind from now onwards. firstly, i heard the bitch's getting a divorce soon. see what i mean? her marriage with dar was not long-lasting and now her 2nd marriage is falling apart too so what does this show? the husbands at fault or the bitch herself? the thought of she getting a divorce really haunts me and in spur of the moment, i began asking dar questions which I should not have ask in the first place. Dialogs are as follow :- Me : can I ask you something. Dar : (while he was engrossed watching SmackDown) wat? Me : u know ur ex-wife is getting a divorce soon. Dar : so? Me : let this be an empty talk ok. misal kata, she's now alone and i suddenly tell u to go back to her so that you can lead a happy family, will u do it? (dar frowned) Dar : apa sajalah ayg ni. why pose this kind of question? if she's divorce, then so be it. biarkan dia rasa how i went thru the last time. Me : (not satisfied with his answer) no lah. kan i dah cakap this is cakap terbuang. let's say, if i let u go back to her, will u do it? Dar : (shake his head) no. (a firm no!) Me : why? Dar : sebab i tak boleh tinggal sebumbung dengan dia. tak serasi. Me : but the way i see now, u both converse ok pe pat dalam talipon. (still not satisfied) Dar : dalam talipon of courselah. siapa-siapa pon boleh bebwal baik-baik. what i mean is tinggal sebumbung. Me : what if she has totally changed and realised her mistakes? Dar : baguslah kalau dia dah sedar. Me : (still thinking what to ask him) but u pernah jadi husband and wife before, takkanlah takde rasa sayang lagi pada dia? mustahillah. i dun believe dat. ( i dunno why i ask this!!!) Dar : rasa sayang tu masih adalah sikit tapi nak balik semula no lah. i don't think so. ( i never expect that answer although he's being honest) Me : (trying to regain my composure) there u go, kalau dah ada rasa sayang, i rasa tak susah apa kalau nak balik semula. kalau dah ada sikit rasa sayang, kan boleh kasi besar rasa tu. Dar : u ask me and i answer honestly. kalau i tak layan perasaan i, takkan boleh jadi besar. so let it be. biar rasa sayang tu macam gitu jer, buat apa i nak layankan? Me : (although hurt, i still have not got wat i want to hear) but wat if i willing to back out, u go back as a family. i think the kids would be happy kan? Dar : apa ayg bebwal ni? i think u something wrong ah. bebwal macam orang takde akal pulak. now u tell me, why u want to back off? Ayg dah bosan dgn abg? (now i'm trapped!) Me : no. this is not becoz of u. Dar : ok. now u tell me why you ask me all this questions. Me : becoz i'm afraid. Dar : afraid that you'll lose me? Me : no. It don't hurt me to lose you. (step independent pulak!) Dar : kurang ajar kan. takpe.. it don't hurt u kan.. never mind. Me : no lah. what i mean is u are my minor worry. my major worry is the kids. Dar : apsal dengan budak2? Me : looks like yr ex is becoming more close to the kids now. i tak salahkan dialah. after all she's the mother. but i'm pressured over this.  dahlah kita got no kids yet, then i tumpang kasih with them. i already treat them like my own tapi bila their own mother suddenly pop out of nowhere and trying to be close to them, i takut budak2 tu tetiba jer lupakan i. (i almost cried tau!) Dar : abih, kalau kita ada anak sendiri? Me : u tak fahamlah! kalau kita ada anak, i dun think i will feel like this. at least i still have another one, purely ours to play with. Dar : dahlah. memang belum rezekikan. nak buat macam mana? Me : can u give me 3 reasons why u don't want me to leave u? (apa punya soalan pon aku tak tahu! otak aku dah sot dot agaknya) Dar : becoz i love u, becoz u are good to me & my kids, becoz we can get along fine. (ok. valid for the time being tapi perasaan takut aku masih tak hilang) Me : (sigh) dahlah. i nak tidur. i hate it when i have feelings like this. sometimes i just wonder why, among all people, i have a marriage life like this. Not regretting coz Dar and the kids are totally fine to me but it's just the situation whereby the ex-wife still exist, they still have to keep in touch becoz of the kids and i have to put up with dar's family in my place ~ the mum, the 3 bros ~. that is the life i have to face and when feelings like this suddenly arise, i start to go off track and will feel vulnerable of losing everything i built. talking abt dar's mum, i've noticed that the whole of this week, she's been doing laundry non-stop even though it's a small amount of clothes! that too, i have to put up coz my concern is the utilities bill which i definately have to pay. grrrrrrr... i guess this is the consequences that i have to face since i choose this path and only have myself to blame. kalau ngadu nasib pat ma pun, she will tell me wat i have heard before! but no matter what happens ~ i will love only u dar!

in the office rite now. lagi 1.5hrs to go before i can knock off. i take-5 kejap since i've completed all my work for today. i will be busy afterwards. have to pop by cpf building to mail the cpf contributions, then singpost to mail all the cheques for mid month. lepas tu, have to rush home and prepare dinner. hmmm... today's menu is kari telur and fried vege. the kids called me up earlier saying they've got their SA1 timetable. nampak gaya this whole month will definately be a very hectic month for me. for the kids, i've told them no TV and toys starting tomorrow. for myself, have to surf up the internet for worksheets. they definately have to pass, especially the eldest since this year is streaming year for him before he proceed to pri 5. i called ma up during lunch and she is still not well yet, despite having to take 7 tablets in total for 2/3 times a day from TTSH. ma have nerve disorder (i forgot the term for it - saw this lady write up in the newspaper and ma is suffering the same as her). the mystery illness has no cure. the attack is just like a migraine but hers is definately worst. she cannot talk and she cannot do anything right. tears will flow continuosly until she cannot even open her eyes. ma was as healthy as me last year and she has lost almost 16kg becoz of this this illness. tomorrow, she has to go back to TTSH for the results outcome. i will have to storm up a nice porriage tonight since dar promised to send me to bishan tonight. droolz got keys for her new house in punggol today. i bet she and rj are really happy now getting a place of their own. all the best for droolz and her family! and all the best for adik for finally getting his own room now since droolz will be moving her bedroom set out soon from bishan.

i felt good right now, knowing all my pics can appear soon for your pleasant viewing. that's becoz lady mephis helped me with dat. now i am so confident on publishing this web and make it known to the rest. coz my lil fratello complained that my blog sucks coz the pic didn't appear. he will definately enjoy my writings about him now. still in the office, updating this blog. will be going home soon and ta-pau some mee goreng coz by the time i reach home, i definately got no time to cook. till then.. have fun people. 

what can i say about today? work, work and definately work again. no leave, no mc for a shitty 2 months in. this is absolute nuts. i can't live without annual leave and mc! and it's only a week passing by.. i still have to face a hell of 7/8 weeks more. suddenly felt sick thinking about my work life without rest during weekdays and JE is leaving to UK in june for 3 weeks right after AC come back from maternity! and i still can't go on leave till last week of june? arrrrgggghhhh.. someone help me please. i should better get an employee of the month platinum just like they have in mcdonalds or something nice like bonus???

another saturday passed by and still, i don't feel the pleasure at home. this is not relaxing! this is tiring. went to compass point to to get a last minute birthday present for jep and rya. i just dun know what to get for jep. in the end, i got him a book. i dun actually know whether he's into reading or not as well. what a joke?! the dustak chalet event was nice and so were all the dustaks. i felt welcome.. hehe.. as if it's my first time meeting all of them. i was somehow captivated with the whole birthday celebration. and now i am thinking of doing my own birthday bash this year as well. i've never had any birthday celebration besides ma never forgetting to buy me a birthday cake and sms text messages wishing me a happy birthday from the rest of my pals. dar? dar neva bought me anything, just almost late warm wishes for my birthday. how old am i this year... what? 29 already?? haizzzz... and still have the cheek to do a birthday bash... if pa heard this, he will definately say, i'll give you a good bash if you still want to enjoy and hang loose knowing u'll be 30 next year. oh my gawd! can't imagine life after 30. well.. my groupie mate, ainee, still leads a good life even she's 30 something so why can't i? the only difference is she's still single and i'm jolly well stuck to my bowling chain for the rest of my life... sucks.. not suck being married but suck when imagining a world beyond 30 next year. must talk to dar about this. i mean the chalet thingy. if he's agreeable, then i'll prepare everything. wow! didn't actually thought about this at all... harhar.

happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday to adik happy birthday to you another birthday in row. how fast 17 years actually pass by? i wonder. i still remember how he, my little fratello, used to run around in diapers. gosh.. i lost track in counting years. and suddenly i feel old. a big sigh! i'm preparing for my trip... ermm... i'll talk about that some other times. no time now. gotta start packing. and sshhh.. my cat's are sleeping. dun intend to wake them up until after we leave the room. kherkherkh.. goodbye my sweethearts.

a lil bit relax today. that's becoz i'm now at home after chilling with siblings earlier at dome, plus tomorrow's a public holiday. weewaawee.. a long weekend at last! but that stupid may day holiday falls on sat! damn. no chance for another long weekend! back to my work. i didn't meet them at dome, i have to fetch them, the lazy good for nothing! anyway, adik didn't know that i had brought all the presents with me since i've plans tomorrow with dar and the kids and simply cannot spend the time with him on his birthday. also ma's off to kelantan with the usual rombongan. plus he's spending his birthday with his friends outside. and plus and plus and plus and that's all the reasons. it was fun since the last fun we had together as a sibling (just the 3 of us) was back in when? hmmm.. let me see.. when we last watch cheaper by a dozen at orchard cineplex. can't remember when, perhaps in jan or feb or maybe last year.. haha! adik was so thrill when he found out i had all the presents for him. from ma, from me, from the kids, from dar... ooh yeah.. dar bought him a nasty gift. later! he opened mine first ~ i can't seem to have any idea on what to get him. I've got him a CD player, got him a jeans and top, got him pants, got him bermudas, got him toiletries... and he has his own pc, his own printer, his own scanner, his own digcam... so i bought him a schiffer pen and a box of chocolate. the kids wanted him to have chocolates too and dar bought him a box of undergarments. and for ma's hp gift, i had this funky idea of how i used to get a pack of women's sanitary napkin (just 1 pc, not 1 box for your info) during my primary school days, all wrapped and wrapped and wrapped in chunks of newspaper and lastly inserted into a phone box and i tot i got a phone for my birthday present! wanker! back to adik. i wrapped his hp box in aiwa's plastic bag and put it in another box which display cake mixer outside the box. so when he was guessing, he said it's a hp, being confident after getting my call last week. however, when he opened the box and saw the cake mixer, he sigh hard and shove his present aside. i laughed hard enough seeing him like dat until droolz decided to give it a go at him said, wah ma wanted you to learn how to bake i think. and droolz decided to open the box herself. and ta-dhaaaa... she shrieeked hard enough until adik decided to take a peek again inside the box. and at last, that smile i was waiting for arises. he smiled... ohhh yeah... and wanted to cry tooo.. muahahahahahah. after photo taking at dome, we went to the hamster playground. why i called it a hamster playground, because the playground is different from the rest of playground in bishan. finally got tired after a round or two and decided to head home.

can somebody pass me my damn ciggy???? i badly need one. can't concentrate. too much hastle in accounts. arrrrrggggggggg... i wish i'm dead last friday!!!!

busy... as usual...  can't write too much. my brain's not working... **sigh**

i've got nothing much to say except that i'll be busy for the rest of the days until mid June. AC has given birth to a healthy baby boy. so much for not wanting to take the epidural! she did took it since she can't withstand the pain. anyway, i'll be doing all her accounts work and so far, the journey is within my control. 2 jobs in 1 day... what a mess but at least it sure occupy my day.

went out with ma and the kids to town for a while. met her at bishan mrt around 11ish and took the train to Raffles Place. went to M1 at change alley since ma wanted to get a mobile phone for adik's coming birthday, this friday. i called him asking which model he's interested in now since the last time, he wanted me to get him the 7250 or something. the call was a good one as he now changed his mind and wanted the 3200. so ma bought that, without any contract or any line at a retail price of S$398! that lucky bloke! how i wish small hps were introduced when i was 17!! i still remember when i was 17, the only mobile phone that I saw was THE CALL ZONE where you have to search high and low for a call zone sign or adjust your antenna to such that you can get the reception.. kahkahkah.. what a time that was! after purchasing the hp set, we went down to Lau Pa Sat for lunch, then me and the kids send ma off to her working place at PSA. but we only managed to send her till Amara Hotel as it was one hell of a distance from Lau Pa Sat. rayyan wanted to see the merlion so i propose we took a bus from the bus-stop at IP. dar called saying he's at Amara, sending some hps there. asked him to pass by IP since we were still there. bought 2 bottle drinks and had a puffing session with him while the kids watch. once dar is on his way again, me and the kids proceed to Fullerton. the ambience was allright except for the hot sun. the boys really enjoyed themselves and from fullerton, i suggested we walk again to Raffles Shopping Centre, the old Sogo. i needed to buy a new bedsheet again at Robinsons.. i just love bedsheets!!! bought the kids some spy toys, appreciating them accompanying my walk the whole of today. they seems to love it and for the first time, after a tired hangout and walking, i took the MRT home! usually, if i'm dead tired, i'll just hail a cab. only took a cab from hougang mall. at least it save me 10 plus dollars.

came back from sheesha-ing at nearly 11pm. why? reason is I stayed behind waiting for dar to arrive. if i were to describe sheesha, it taste like virginia slims. and for a hardcore smoker like me, i dun think sheesha actually leaves any significant impact except that i had a terrible bad headache afterwards. maybe becoz i'm inhaling too little nicotine and a lot of "thin air" plus i still smoke my own budget limos. the only fun about being at al-majlis is the arab dishes. the salad and grilled mushroom was succulent which i dare say i can make a come back just for the food. tried yenny's mixed fish dish and heaven, it was delicious and came in big portion too.. who was there? me, ainee, hani (caramelle), bon, uncle flea, hasrin, fad, lis, nora, mira, jedi, yenny and dar of course. i hope i didn't miss out anybody! my head is totally screwed now. regrets... regrets... should take strong flavour like caramelle. mine was ... dun laugh!... grape + peach.. that's for the 1st timer like me i guess.