i should've post this blog this morning but due to unavoidable circumstances, i waited till the end of my office hours to do it. i had fun yesterday nite. met my primary school classmates, lin, nana & lily at coffeebean, lot 1 yesterday. It was nana's birthday and the gerls decided to have fun karaoke-ing at K-Box, located there. i ordered tomato & basil pasta to fill my really famished tummy. had half portion and lily finished the other half, being a tomato-freak she is. ekeke! i almost didn't know about the whole-island-blackout if not for dar's returned call at nearly 10.30pm. lin, who went off early for the sake of her children, did message my hp saying woodland's blackout! i never bother to reply coz i was still having fun with the other two. then, my 2nd bro-in-law called me up asking for his mum. i told him that i was outside with my friends. i tried calling dar and his mobile is off. damn! what's going on?? dar never off his mobile at any expense so i reckon something is amiss somewhere. when dar called up somewhere later and explained to me the whole situation, i was damn glad we weren't affected at all in that karaoke room. how frightening to be stuck in darkness in the area that you're not familiar with. although feeling kinda tense-up, wondering whether dar is expecting me to come home almost immediately, i continued singing my heart out with lily and nana. we left the place at 11.30pm and after dropping nana at teck whye, lily drive me home. all the way back, it seems no mishap had happened earlier. street lights are back to normal, traffic lights in working condition. i get off the car in the main road to find dar still at the void deck, helping vincent out closing his shop. dar told me the whole situation when blackness occur around 10pm and i listen, trying hard not to chuckle. had my shower while he checked his emails. we had fun watching the reality show on MTV. although the wall clock shows 1.30am, i still couldn't sleep. then we decided to bed-talk (talking about daily events while lying side by side, mind you!) and while he did his talking, i closed my eyes till i almost fall asleep. dar then stopped and bid me goodnight and as usual an exchange of goodnight kiss which he says it's a must. and i was snuggled into dreamland.

friends & relatives have been asking... don't you wanna have a child? don't you wanna see how your child looks like? don't you wanna feel how it's like to give birth? all sorts of questions which i simply can't answer. i can't ignore the fact that having a child makes a family complete but what can i do if i can't have one yet. perhaps this is god's answer to my prayer years back, when i think i'm not ready to have children, when i think i wanna have more time spend just with my husband alone, when i think getting pregnant and giving birth are just totally ridiculous especially when the after-effect is you have kids that are beyond control or when i think that i might not be a good mother thus birth-control pills are the best solution.... and now, i regret.. regret to have make those wish deep in my heart especially when i showed most of close friends and relatives the pic lis took of me with nora's 2-weeks old daughter, syirin. their comments on how i can be a loving mum really touches my heart. dear god, i yearn for at least one.....

sorry peeps, i had to changed the skin. loved that mamafai skin but i just can't work out those bloody codes. thanks for all the reply i got from you people. perhaps, i'm just fated to use maystar's skin. haha! my long break from work really helps. i'm amused to think how some woman can be a really fulltime housewife. i longed for one too and dar promised me that in near future. a housewife to attend the kids needs at home. it was fun though to be at home, have extremely enough time to prepare breakfast, lunch and dinner and have my own sweet time doing the housework. and the best thing, lazing around and be a couch potato. i know it's unhealthy but hey, it's a not an everyday thingy rite. not like the usual normal days when i have to work, then it'll be a really a mad rush to be home just in time to cook dinner. conclusion, i don't actually feels like going back to work tomorrow! looks like i have to make my quick plan to go for my leg surgery.. look forward to sitting at home again.. hehe.

ATTENTION : need anyone's help. if you'd notice, aku baru tukar skin. however, i've compared with other html codes, try adding and deleting and i guess i'm not that good in html codes. therefore, if anyone can figure out how i can actually create spacing in between paragraphs, do tell me the codes immediately. i had spent almost half a day trying to figure what went wrong and still couldn't find the solution and in the end, i gave up. so please, anyone yang tahu pasal my paragraph problem, tag or comment please. i am not online tonite, therefore any comments or tag, i'll check them tomorrow. adios and thanks in advance.

update.. update doink update.. wahhhh, tension betul aku. kalau pat opis, tension pasal kerja, pat rumah lak.. tension pasal blog. ni macam tak boleh jadi man, ni macam nak kena bedallll.. oklah, sebenarnya aku tengah short break pat rumah dari hari rabu sampailah isnin depan. well.. everyone do need a break kan, memandangkan aku dah jadi pekerja contoh buat dua kerja dalam masa dua bulan, cehhhhbahhh.. big round applause for me.. feeling sakan aku ni tau. there's nothing much for me to post actually sebab aku pat rumah cuma sekadar besarkan bontot. cuma sejak aku pat rumah dari hari rabu yang baru lepas ni jer lah maka aku dapat concentrate baca people nyer blog, selain dari jadi housewife fulltime. so, satu-satu nyer blog aku baca dengan teliti. firstly, pasal member kita yang buih orang, then next pasal the most perfect couple yang akhirnya berpisah and thirdly, baru aku tahu yang adik kita yang tengah belajar pat meshia tu pong dah berpisah ngan boipren dia. wahlau! ada lagi tak surprise yang patut aku tahu??? satu demi satu berita yang agak memeranjatkan akhirnya aku dah tahu. nasib baik aku takde heart attack, kalau ada.. hmmm.. dah lama aku kojol oii! hah, baru part ni kawan aku, si momma tu boleh mandikan, sembahyangkan dan talkinkan.. dia tu memang pantang kalau dengar orang MENINGGAL.. kherkher.. aku baru balik dari rumah adik aku at punggol today. dia off day today, so aku bawak my kids over there to play. salah timing lak aku datang.. contractor tengah buat aircon 3 split unit, then some more she's expecting some deliveries to be send over like the washing machine and dryer. habis berabuk satu rumah. bila sumer dah siap, aku pon jadi supervisor, telitikan everything that they ordered from courts. vah.. vah.. vah.. yennadey, bulan2 pon rabak jugak oi kalau dah macam2 dorang amik from courts. well, lain orang lain cara kan.. aku dah advise abt instalment2 ni sumer, tapi lantak dorang husband and wifelah, asalkan dorang bahagia sudahlah. bila tengok cara dorang, aku teringat kawan aku pernah cakap dulu, biar papeh, asal bergayeh . orang tengah excited baru dapat rumah so everything must be new (tak macam aku, rumah second hand, barang second hand.. segala2nyer second hand.. janji boleh pakai..). the only thing that droolz have to realise is that she's staying in 5-room flat.. so takde banyak rebate for utilities.. thus, have to jimat cermat jugak, tapi walau macam mana pon, i should think their utilities would still be ok sebab the house cuma they husband and wife jer yang duduk. tak macam aku, rumah dah macam sardin. kalau aku start cerita, aku leh nangis.. cukup jer lah aku mengatakan bahawa utilities bill aku untuk bulan ni dah melambong from S$150+ to S$240, padahal rumah takde aircon ni! tak sakit hati?? nak salahkan saper?? busuk2 pon aku jugak nak kena bayar.. lepas ni confirm aku akan nangis....... uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... oklah.. aku dah update panjang lebar.. happy reading! doinkers.... OUT..!

bila dua hati dah terjalin selamatlah pengantin kami doakan moga redha Allah bersinar selalu tanda bermula bahtera hidup the fact that it was the most enjoyable jemputan kahwin yang aku pernah pergi. the whole atmosphere was awesome. that was the next wedding since my wedding in 2002. dalam banyak2 sepupu, tinggal the groom and my own brother jer lah yang belum berumahtangga. so now that the groom dah selamat diijabkabul, the next wedding, i would say, plus minus in 5 or 10yrs time? coz my brother is cousin yang paling kecik in my dad's family tree but there's also anak angkat cik yaya, yusri who's like 3 years old... food was delicious. jemputan was a crowd. tapi kalau ada pingat yang boleh aku beri hari itu, i will definately give it to the baduts sarkis of the day ~ my darling husband, abg azman and abg rosman. the 3 clowns of the day.. ada jer yang dorang nak buat kelakar.. dari pagi sampai ke petang. me and family arrived at nearly 11 to bukit batok, where the wedding was held. sampai jer terus makan, since the crowd makin lama makin ramai, although it was just passed 11am. lepas makan, aku tolong ler apa yang patut and while pa is doing the marhaban in front of the pelamin, i'm the camerawoman of the day and dar, the videoman of the day. pengantin lelaki (my cousin) berarak from bukit batok to jurong at around 1.30pm. the sun was strikingly hot.. rimas pulak rasanya aku berbaju kurung RH Fashion but what to do, it's a wedding.. takkan nak pakai jeans pulakkan (the fact that my sis did wear jeans with her nyonya kebaya top when she came after work!! dammit!) bila sampai pat tempat the bride, hah kau.. the food looks more delicious than ever.. the sambal prawns were so big i felt like just eating the prawns tapi too bad.. the place there were too overcrowded with guests sampaikan rombongan pihak lelaki which is us, tak ada tempat nak duduk. last2 setakat minum air and makan kuih, itu pon terpaksa berdiri. and the pengantins wah.. very the sedap, dapat makan lagi. and that is when the lawak starts with the clowns and time tu, abg azman tak ikut. cuma dar, abg rosman and amy. penat aku ketawa. the best part was... when the bride & groom dah ready nak berarak untuk masuk kereta, balik bukit batok. tengah berarak ni and hadrah was already playing their kompang, proceeding to the car, a kia carmens 7-seater which was nicely decorated. so dar and abg rosman yang dah ke-depan, reached to the car first, while aku yang belakang dorang ni tengah snap photo from the front view of the pengantin while they were walking. and out of sudden, sumer ketawa... termasuk pengantin. i tot it was me.. apa aku dah buat sampai sumer ketawa terbahak2.. aku pusing.. and there they were, abg rosman and dar.. dah siap standby pat kereta, with the car bonnet highly open... and abg rosman siap tepuk bantal shrek (the S$2.95 bantal with BK meal) sekali, susun cantik2 pat bonnet belakang.. konon suruh pengantin masuk dalam bonnet.. kahkahkah.. lawak.. aku pon dah tak leh tahan... sampai bukit batok around 3-ish.. penat kaki aku berdiri so decided to take the chair and sit at the carpark, tempat shady sikit. matahari punya terik sampai duduk bawah void deck pon boleh rasa bahangnya. so while duduk pat carpark tu, abg azman punya turn pulak buat lawak. ma suruh dia amikkan bunga manggar since the bunga manggar looks different then the normal bunga manggar. then abg azman tanya ma, cik tak nak nenas dia sekali? kalau nak saya amikkan... balik nanti boleh buat jus nenas.. jus nenas perisa galah lepas tu kasi cik halil (my pa) minum.. dah ma kekek ketawa.. aku ngan dar pon dah tak leh tahan. when abg din cina datang ngan anak dia, abg azman angkat anak abg din and attached him at the lamp post in front of us.. dah melalak anak orang tu.. lepas tu, dengan selamba dia kasi balik budak tu pat bapak dia and said bye.. budak tu masih tak berenti nangis.. aniayalah abg azman ni. next funny part was when abg rosman, dar, amy and abg man (obek nah) ~ now then i realised there's so many 'abang man' in the house ~ nyanyi karaoke lagu isabella 98. wah sambutan hangat betul! they got wolf whistle from all my kakak sedara and then were given flowers yang kakak sedara aku pinjam dari pelamin (habis botak bunga pat pelamin!) and lastly, my kakak sedara bawak masuk bunga manggar (plus the galah sekali) and hand it to them.. aku yang tengah amik video sampai tak leh concentrate! lepas all the main event and karaoke session ended at 5.30, sumer dah start packing. and when abg abu sang mengintai dari tirai kamar.. fullermak, so the syahdu.. tak leh angkat aku.. especially when i know he's crippled on his right leg after the motorbike accident and his wife left home without a message (dengar berita dah tengah divorce proceedings). later on, i saw ramli, the ex-keyboardist from jams (at clarke quay). he was there with a lady, ntah tunang dia ke or wife dia aku pon tak tanya lah. the groom's younger sister dulu pernah nyanyi pat club with the hubby so kira ada jugaklah satu dua musician pat situ. we went off at 6 plus and reached home nearly 7pm and i was totally shacked. before shower, i had a look at all the photos that i took in my office digcam.. and bugger me.. not even 1 photo of myself in there. nasib baik tadi cameraman pengantin took 1 pic of me with mum.. kalau tak langsung takde kenangan pat majlis persandingan my cousin, abd rahman and her sweet-looking bride, shidah.. chet!

:: warning :: :: an extremely long post for the day :: i read his blog. i read their comments. and most importantly i read her writings. conclusion, i share my sadness with both party. the hype of such and such gone forever.. how sad.. how agonizing.. how distressing.. and suddenly i felt the pain, the pain of my previous relationships, from the time i got engaged with my first love, to the time i got married to my love of a lifetime, dar. i wonder how my ex-boyfriends are getting on with their life. zailani abd latif : got to know him when i was in sec 4. he was the uncle to my classmate. although it was puppy love at that time, i felt the butterflies in my stomach each time i'm near him. he was the most caring, understandable, gorgeous, tall, loving and friendly chap but i took him for granted. memories of first love will always stay fresh anyway. we got together as an inseparable item, got engaged when i was barely 18 years old while he was 22 but only to broke it off when he was caught for drug procession and estimated to be detained for 3 yrs in drc. i called off the marriage plans and that year really sucks coz he's the only love in my life. my heart was bleeding.. ouch.. but it got replaced soon after.. nor hisam ali : and dat's when i met this jerk. why i called him a jerk? he's not serious and is just out to toy my feelings and hard earned cash. i was head over heals with this man and again, i should have listen to my friends about the true him. i didn't and in the end, i was flabbergasted with all the truth that came to light moments after. we managed to last for only 8 mths and do missed him like crazy before. syed farid : he, i met in a pub at far east plaza where i was once a regular with my bestfriend, rose. he's funny, witty but never got serious on anything. we decided to let go of the relationship when he had to fly off to amsterdam to work. he's a diploma holder in nautical study. although he called once when he's back for holiday, i juz dun have the courage to see him again and three words was all i could say - I AM MARRIED. but i was not. duh! i can't see myself marrying a man who sails, bak kata pepatah melayu, penantian adalah suatu penyeksaan. during this time, previous experience has taught me the most and i was glad to be his soulmate although just for quick passing months. peter de souza : undefinate soulmate. serious about the future but nah.. after discovering the whole lot of truth about it, i reckon he's not my type. i just go with the flow until it's time to say goodbye. although he dun wished to broke off the relationship, we still went on our separate ways and i dun missed him a single bit. how bizzare... after all, i got to know zai got married, had a daugther and recently got divorced and his ex-wife remarried right after her iddah. i heard thru his younger brother whom i met at yishun that nor hisam got married. farid and peter.. i'd never seen them all these years. and now that i've got dar, surprisingly whom i met thru 1800 chatline (so don't tell me online or phone chat relationship is not long lasting), although not the 100% perfect guy, i am still content with what we have gone through together for 7 years. i am blessed to have a husband who never grudge that i'm taller than he is, a husband who don't mind to let me have my own space of freedom, a husband who's willing to share the household chores with me and most importantly, a husband who shares the same passion ~ cats. i thanked god for everything. my version of Ronan Keating lyric ~ if tomorrow never comes sometimes late at night i lie awake and watch him sleeping he's lost in peaceful dreams so i turn out the lights and lay there in the dark and the thought crosses my mind if i never wake up in the morning would he ever doubt the way i feel about him in my heart if tomorrow never comes will he know how much i loved him did i try in every way to show him every day that he's my only one and if my time on earth were through and he must face this world without me is the love i gave him in the past gonna be enough to last if tomorrow never comes coz i've lost loved ones in my life who never knew how much i loved them now i live with the regret that my true feelings for them never were revealed so i made a promise to myself to say each day how much he means to me and avoid that circumstance where there's no second chance to tell him how i feel if tomorrow never comes will he know how much i loved him did i try in every way to show him every day that he's my only one and if my time on earth were through and he must face this world without me is the love i gave him in the past gonna be enough to last if tomorrow never comes so tell that someone that you love just what you're thinking of if tomorrow never comes

my poem to dar

can't believe it either, mate! came in extremely early this morning only to find out there's no compliance statement in my email inbox at all! americans ~ they're are really good when making promises and more promises but its piling up like bullshits. arrgghhh.. i'm getting more agitated by the pass of each seconds. looks like there won't be any ups tender submission. nothing. zero. farkadoodledoo! damn! there goes all my work for yesterday evening.. all pouring down the drain.... kkhhhaaakkk.. poooiiii..

yeah!! yeah!! my two lil' rascal are back yesterday. the youngest one looks a lil' bit thinner though, complaining he hasn't had any decent meals while staying with his mum.. kherkher.. cerewet pulak! but i'm just so glad they're back.. now i'm starting to hear the yacking and non-stop questions all over again. just glad.. so glad.. i don't even need dar for now.... heheh..

my 3rd post for the day. this is juz so unbelievable, 3 postings in 1 day ~ what does this makes me look like, that i'm jolly well so damn free in the office?? well, all correspondence for the underfloor busbar tender has been completed and all i need to know now is whether they're going ahead with the ups tender.. erggh.. and they have no worries at all when they know damn well the tender has to be submitted tomorrow. although no time submission is specifically stated in the tender docs, i reckon it will definately be before 12 so definately it will be a mad rush for me tomorrow if i don't have anything given to me by end of business hour today. my ex-school mate wishes to see me today at ip so it will be another late night out today. i reached home at 10.10pm yesterday night, thanks to the how-to-make-my-phlogger-text-appear and after fiddling with the template settings, i finally managed to make it work. left the office at 8.30pm and reached the bus stand opposite sia building at 8.45pm, only to find out the last bus to hougang is 8.30pm! damn.. i wanted to hail a cab but no cab seems to be available. all the on call signs flashing here and there. so i took bus no. 100 and dropped somewhere before serangoon north and continued my journey home by cab. dar waited for me at the carpark to pay the fare.. hehe.. well, he insisted that i took a cab home anyway! i was thinking of picking up the kids at their grand's house as well today since my ex-school mate is staying in woodlands but my eldest lil rascal called up to say that they'll be send home tomorrow afternoon since the grandparents only touched down today from their umrah session in mecca. i have applied for my long leave next week and right now wondering where i should bring the kids to. camping and overnighting by the beach sounds fun. perhaps i shall do just that, with or without my loving dar coz he's not sure whether he can apply leave as well. can't wait for next week... bugger me! when all my online mates are going for their holidays, here i am sitting in the office waiting for my turn.... but only next week.... arrrghhh...!

now that i can post photo in my blogger (thanks to hello from picasa!), i am beginning to enjoy to blog daily and hourly.. haha! nonita dearie, hope the picture answers your earlier question about my darling youngest rascal. the pic you saw him in the red sweat shirt is taken like 2 years back whilst the pic with my dardar is taken during a recent trip to sentosa. open your eyes big. he's still big niwae.. juz like his dad and his step-mama.. kherkher! big forever!

my 2 little rascal.. i miss them so much. they're with their mum since 1st week june, only to return tomorrow. can't wait to see them. can't wait to bring them out. house seems so empty without the kids screaming and shouting. sad.... so sad...

monday.. monday.. monday.. what can i say about monday? busy, busy and still busy! i'm still in the office rite now updating my blog. can't seem to do it at home ~ and i dunno why!! everytime i go to my blog from home pc, it went on to the 1st june post and when i try to update the template, it somehow dun wanna change. i have done it over 10 times and still the template is the old one. is it because i have been doing most updating from my work pc? i dunno either. if someone knows the answer, perhaps they can be kind enuf and teach the always doink here. kherkher. i had a tender to do this morning and another tender proposal to be submitted this wed. arggh!! i hate tenders! schedule of rates have been forwarded to my boss in uae and i guess i'll only have everything to summarize by tomorrow afternoon. just hope that it won't be another mad rush on wed, seeing the tender needs to be in by 12 noon. harm & null following nenek back to bawean island??? am i hearing the right thing? oh boy! juz can't wait to hear their plight staying there as uncivilized kampung people. haha! where on earth are they going to break their crave for ciggy when they're travelling with my grandma, my uncle & his family and another aunt (ermm.. is she?) of mine. bawean island is fantastic for male who can live without fan and tv and female who can live without fan, tv and ciggies. the first time i went there with droolz (that was when pa sponsored our trip, 2 months before my solemnization i think!), we had fun when we were at surabaya. at least during that time, i went together with my other uncle and his modern wife so we managed to persuade pa to let us sleep in the hotel with my uncle & his wife on the 2nd day when we were at the island!! not that we can't survive the mosquito and no fan / tv thingy but we just couldn't stand the life without marlboros.. kherkher. so at the hotel, even though it's just equipped with a queen bed and a fan, life was more entertaining. i can still remember the first day when we arrived bawean, you can just tell that if one villager saw u doing the no-good stuff, the whole village will know about it.. you won't know but you sure can tell it's a fast news over there.. more quicker than the CNN!! so on the first day, me & droolz purposely said that we wish to explore the padi fields just on our own and we managed to find a spot to smoke and that my friend, is in the bushes, covering ourself with fallen banana leaves and accompanied with big blood sucking mosquitoes all over us. mosquitoes or not, smoking is the one main thing. nobody saw us. and when we were in the house, we had this stupid idea of showering together.. while one smoke, the other person's duty is to fan away the smoke and spraying expensive CK perfume so that the smell is not detectable! and with harm & null, i reckon they won't be showering together?? haha! that's the bad thing when you have a brother as a smoking partner. i wish to go back there one fine day. can't wait to hear their stories... oooohhhlala...

ntah macam mana aku rasa today is the most stooopidest day for me! siang-siang aku dah tick kalender that today will be the most memorable day, pa & ma 30-yrs wedding anniversary! so, aku pon call ma. dia tengah siap nak gi kerja. bebwal dulu macam biasa, konon tak nak kasi suspen lah sebab dari cara perbualan dia pon, nampak gaya macam dia tak ingat today is her wedding anniversary, yang ke-30 summore! so lepas bebwal, aku pon wish her.... "ma, surprise!! happy anniversary!" kataku dengan riang dalam talipon. "saper punya?" tanya ma tetiba. "aiks? tak ingat ke? hari ni kan 11 haribulan?" aku try lah nak ingatkan dia, saperlah tahu dia lupa ke apa ke. "awak ni.. bulan 7 lah.. !" kata ma, buat aku terperanjat katak. "hah????!!! bulan 7???? bukan bulan 6 ke??" tanyaku mati-mati tak percaya. "ye lah. kita tahulah. kalau hari ni anniversary kita, siang-siang ma dah order kek dah." kata ma lagi. "alamak.. orang mati-mati ingatkan hari ni tau. dah mark calendar pon. habis lah.. dah tak surpriselah macam ni.. nasib baik belum sms papa." ma ketawakan aku.. chet! terus aku send sms to my cousin, yang konon-nyer nak buat big surprise untuk my parents, his son and one of our aunt time abang dia sanding next week. my sms to mil : do not make surprise 4 my parents anni. i called them 2day 2 wish, sekali salah bulan dah! damn. there goes my surprise! patotnya bulan 7. proceed wif the cake for shafiq & obek. mil's reply : kha kha kha! yg i pulak don't noe how, nak call obek tapi tercall kak enab instead. nak surprise org tapi sendiri yg kena. hah.. bagoslah tu! aku ingat aku sorang jer yang bodoh hari ini.. kherkherkher.. kita serupa rupernyer...... so begitulah trivia kebodohan aku untuk hari ini. ingatkan nak surprise orang, sekali orang lain yang kena surprise! duh!!

hari ni aku cabut siang lagi from the ofis. kherkher.. kalau tiap hari ada delivery / minor problem at site, kan ke bagus. this time, i was suppose to send static switches spares to mwz pat gs site pat tai seng avenue. since dar is familiar pat tu site (he used to work with me in the same company fm year 2000 - 2002 and this is not an office love fling that we fall in love & got married.. we were already an item since end 1998), again, i ask him for a favour to send this for me friday morning which he reply he will. so in return, aku masakkan dia his requested dish for the day, ikan masak sambal nenas. other than that, nothing much for the nite coz dar doze off early while aku rasa macam nak testing buat french nails. so i'd better get going since it's nearly midnite now. toodleloooo.....

hari ni aku cabut siang dari ofis. alasan aku, aku nak pi hantar fluke meter for callibration pat UE Square. memang betullah aku kena hantar tu benda untuk di-callibrate-kan but what the heck. time dah kul 4.45pm so dengan pantasnya aku tipon dar, asking him whether he can do me the favour instead ~ send the fluke tomorrow morning to UE Square and being the lovable husband he is, dia cakap ok. maka dengan sukacitanya, aku singgah ke watson and purchase all my needs.. pastu, naik bas 107 terus balik rumah. wah, sukanyer adik-adik ipar aku bila aku sampai rumah siang, almost 6.30 jugak. tapi bila aku take my own sweet time to prepare dinner, sama jugak macam hari-hari semalam. dinner was ready by 7.45pm and after kemas dapur, aku pi mandi. lepas mandi, ingatkan nak tunggu dar to eat dinner together-gether, sekali bila aku kuar dari bilik after shower, dia dah mengadap nasi dengan kari telur. chet! tak sayang bini betul dekni tau. but since aku pon belum terasa lapar lagik, aku ignore jer lah, cuma tanya apsal siang balik today. then aku rasa out of guilt, dia tanya aku whether aku dah makan, aku cakap belum, dia macam terperanjat gitu.. kherkher.. then i said, takpelah... i'm not hungry yet. ntah apasal hari ini aku tergerak nak tengok tu citer bollywood melayu pat channel suria tu. kelmarin tengok gazet macam best. tapi as usual lah, bila part tu so-called ms singapore universe kuar jer, aku naik menyampah siak. i just dunno kenapalah aku menyampah sangat tengok muka dia. is cara lakonan dia tu over? or is it memang dia ni tak cantik? tapi aku masih gatal nak tengok apa x-factor ni pompuan ada sampai dia boleh menang ms singapore universe? bila part dia nangis ke marah ke, mak ai.. sememek siak muka. tu sebab aku tak suka tengok citer melayu, although not all lah. sebab makin banyak aku tengok citer melayu, makin berat dosa aku mengumpat pasal orang. haizzz... so aku switch to channel 22 and raw was on set. adalah lebih baiknya mata aku tertumpu pada wrestling di mana aku dapat jugak tengok wrestler feveret aku bergusti. boleh? adios.. muchachos..

i am back at work. with just 3 words ~ filing, filing and more filing!! at this stage, the word project makes me sick, suddenly feeling so intense when knowing more projects are on their way into our books. argghh.. which means, lots of correpondence for me to sort out! enuf about my work, i'm still shocked (BIG TIME!) over the news i heard during the weekend! i read their blogs and again i wish hard they're talking about a totally different bloke. i simply can't imagine the bloke i knew is what they're talking about. i simply brush all allegations aside even though deep down inside i have so many questions to ask, all sorts of equations that doesn't even match! i kept my silence and kept reading whatever they wrote until i happened to read the last updated blog of my friend and she tells all. so i went online and ask her in MSN. and although its so damn hard for me to say out the name of who i might thought the bloke to be, i did it anyway and it turns out to be so true that i felt like vomitting. i was already sick and hearing the confession of my girlfriend, i was lucky enough for not inheriting any heart disease or i would be dead by the time i read everything. i wanna cry, i wanna laugh, i wanna give him a good bollocking but what can i do? what can i say? i am just sad over the whole thing but i dunno about the whole situation now. i haven't got any issue with that bloke for all i care so i guess i might just accept him for what he is? perhaps i just sit, wait and see what tricks he has for me or maybe there isn't? i dunno .... the truth.... i am so damn disappointed and sad!

dear bloggie, just a quick update for tonite. haven't been well for the past few days. has been on medical leave since thursday. i'm just hoping that i'll get better by tomorrow coz monday will sure be a hell of nightmare if i'm still sick by then. this is just not me, being sick and bed-resting since thursday, can't even eat properly, can't even do anything.. a weakling i can be this 3 days. arrrrrgggggghhhh!!! roger & out!!

mintak2lah JE cakap leh balik siang niari. besok vesak day holiday, niari macam takde mood pulak nak keje. phone calls pon tak banyak. account sets yang bertimbun pon aku dabis buat. amoi tu patut balik dari maternity leave this coming thursday tapi aku, as usual being the goody good colleague, cakap balik jer minggu depan, setakat dua hari pas tu dah weekend, might as well start minggu depan sekali. aku leh coverkan dia for this week, alah dah 2 bulan aku cover dia nyer work, setakat lagi dua hari, takkan tak boleh. sukalah amoi tu bila aku suggest camtu. minggu depan pulak, JE, sales aku gi balik UK till 21st, so tinggallah aku ngan amoi jer pat opis. sumer dah gi leave! aku bila lagik??! fed-up pulak bila terpaksa hold aku nyer leave. nasib baik budak2 takde, kalau tak, kesian dorang cuti sekolah pon terpaksa duduk rumah. aku dah plan nak amik leave lepas majlis sanding sepupu aku on the 20th. maybe thurs & fri aku amik leave then bawak budak2 tu jalan or gi beach. baru kul 2.10pm. haizz.. satu macam punya sunyi opis ni since JE kuar gi site pat tung centre, raffles place. coming thursday, confirm busy.. memandangkan ada 2 shipment yang baru sampai dari jepun & uk via DHL, dahlah tu, kena re-route lagi. barang2 dari india pon sampai sekarang tak sampai2 padahal sumer correspondence dah aku bagi in april. parah berdarah kalau hantar & collect barang pat india. mana custom nak duit kopi, mana electronic goods tak leh kuar via courier. leceh siak. dar tipon tadi ajak makan soto ayam ni malam. lerrr.. tak romantic betoi lah laki aku ni. dah lah tinggal kita dua beranak jer this week, without the kids to concern about.. setakat belanja soto ayam pulak. memanglah soto ayam pat amk central tu power tapi aku macam nak sound ajak gi shopping jer. besok ada hati gak nak kuar tapi bila program pat tv sumer macam best2, aku jadi 50-50 pulak. maybe in the afternoon, ajak dia turun JL ke robinson. aku nak memperbanyakkan lagi collection cadar aku yang dah makin menimbun. i juz dunno why but i have this craving for new bedsheets. went to aussino pat tm last weekend tapi sumer cadar fitted for kids dah sold out. lerr.. then buat apa antar flyers! dah tahu customer mesti beli coz good bargain and summore shopping spree period, amiklah stock banyak2. ni tidak... sumer yang aku carik dah takde pat display or store. hmmm.. kalau dar malas nak gi town, then aku rasa aku suggest gi tm jer lah sebab pat spotlight pon ada jual cadar yang very the nice jugak. aku berkenan sangat ngan country style bedsheet yang checkers tu. before i end my blog for today, juz wanna wish you all out there, happy holiday.... (sambil menunggu sms dari kawan aku yang ntah dah beranak ke belum pat KK spital tu)