banyak sangat malapetaka yang menimpa diri. no, not malapetaka, kalau dah sampai ke tahap malapetaka, kira kehidupan aku dah rabaks sangat. lets call it accident, a minor one. memang tak dapat dinafikan lagi kaki kiri aku dah macam jendol kepala ikan luo han. aku accept that fact. then malam semalam, apa punya suwey nasib aku, tak sangka bingkai katil akan melorot and hit my other leg. story dia macam ni. katil bujang yang diperbuat daripada kayu jati mind you!, yang aku nak kasi adik aku dah di-dismantledkan oleh dar and he put it at the balcony entrance, near the dining area. pas tu, dar suruh ijat, adik ipar aku, angkat tu bingkai katil and place it outside at my corridoor. aku pulak tengah berdiri sebelah dining table, packing clothes for my youngest son journey to kota tinggi with my dad friday afternoon. then si ijat ni pulak, mana tangan dengan rokok, mana nak angkat tu kayu.. secara tak sengaja, when he was handling one of the base, satu kayu yang paling berat melorot and it went fast without him realising it.. and KELEPANGGGGG.. terkena tumit kaki kanan aku.. kira kena hit from the back of my leg. aku dah macam lipas kodong. no! lipas kodong untuk orang kuat lari kan? tak.. tak.. macam kera kena belacan.. dah terloncat-loncat sambil menjerit sampai dar panik.. panik, panik jugak but then setakat suruh aku sapu kaki ngan yoko-yoko jer.. yek eleh.. bukan nak tolong sapukan ke.. dah aku jln macam beruk sarkis, mana kaki kiri terenjit-enjit, tumit kanan pulak dah start lebam.. haiz.. apalah dosa aku.. banyak sangat agaknya tak.. sampai dah tertulis takdir aku sekian dan sekian. back to my hospital appointment. waiting time to see the farking bloody surgeon took me almost 2 hours, tu pon lepas dar gegar tu bilik.. hehe.. apa ke tidak, my appointment time is 11.10am, aku datang satu jam cepat lagi at 10.10am. then oklah bila reception cakap i still have to wait.. i did wait tapi bila dah sampai pukul 12.30 nombor aku tak dipanggil-panggil aku cam nak nangis pon ada. so that stoopid doctor cakap dia suggest aku gi detailed scan called the MRI for them to know the cause. kalau setakat normal xray, he said the problem might come back after surgery. so aku cakap ok, nak baik punya pasal. then gedebak gedebuk, paid the consultancy fees then proceed to MRI suite. they advised the cost is max S$825 cash, no goverment grant. amik kau.. peh mahal. so the next appointment will be on 3rd september. after coming back from the hospital, aku and dar sempat jugak shopping at junction 8, bishan. he was the cashier that day, entah apa mood dia ajak aku pi shopping. so i choose myself a ring from kenji, leather sandals, toiletries and groceries, sumer dia bayar. wanted to bought a jeans which dar mentioned he's willing to pay as well tapi takde cutting yang aku berkenan from giordano that day so i decided not to buy. last2, datang naik motor, balik.. aku terpaksa naik teksi coz barang dah terlalu banyak.. hehehehe.. itulah aku kalau dah bershopping sakan. ok.. back to work..

surprisingly, i was so free (but still attached to some project correspondence) from morning to noon but come late afternoon, dubai receipts (for my boss who is now based there) got dumped on my desk. it's not farking little, it's damn a lot, from december 2003 to june 2004 and she begged me to help her with all those receipts. accountants, the only thing they know when coming to financial year end is this word ~ panic. and being the goody-good me, i said ok. can't believe i said that! perhaps not knowing that there's 6 months pile of receipts that has not been keyed in the system. so, i went thru each and every expenses receipts and boy, were they good at spending their money. each month, they spend lavishly on household item and was i jealous. money to them was like nobody business. how good, how comfortable. so, here i am, clock ticking to nearly past 9pm, sitting in the office all bloody alone keying in people's expenses in the system. i wonder how will they cope if i decided to leave this company. i'm the only all rounders in the office, one who can do sets of accounts, one who can meet contractors at site to discuss projects, one who is damn good at handling administration work, one who takes care of the office welfare, one who can tolerate the heat in the warehouse and converse with the banglas & sarawakians there, one who supplier likes to liase with. and talking about supplier. JN from UK came by the office last week. the last time i saw him was when we're still in the old office, across the road. i was in his good books, yeah.. even my boss knew of this old man liking towards me ~ his so-called favourite girl. so, when we spoke, he was looking up and down and said how much i've changed ~ precisely! well, i used to be as slim as a lamp post.. damn this marriage.. and now i look like a buoy.. kherkher! as we were talking, i noticed he was looking for something on me. my wedding ring! he knew i got married but he just didn't wanna ask whether i am still married. so i choose to keep mum. and the next thing i knew, when he went off to HK, he called the office. i happened to answer that call. i felt the vibration.. duh! he asked me what i had been doing during the weekend. i answered, being a good wife, sitting at home, doing what a housewife should do. he kept quiet for at least 5 seconds. then he said, oh! i didn't know you're still married. i didn't saw a ring on your finger the other day. i have guessed it right. i answered, muslim custom or traditions is unlike those of a christian or catholic that wearing a ring is the proof that you're married. he said he didn't know. conversations after that sounds disheartened. i felt sorry but there's nothing i can do. an old man, good hearted, wealthy, a big boss, drive SLK back in UK, divorced ~ good catch if you're after the $$$ that even my boss advise me to go after him previously, that cunt! he should know better. anyways, life has to go on. i'm just happy the way i am now. i'm not that sort who ditch love for money. i am me.

the boys of ballet are back and they're better than ever. yes, those madcap men of Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo invaded the stage earlier with aflutter and toes appointed. the program began with one of their signature works, swan lake and it conveyed the trocks' broad sense of humor. where a gaggle of swans really gaggled. that's not to say that breaking character and muggin reigned supreme, although the audience certainly egged them on. these dancers were good because they created a balletic character to toss aside from time to time. that is to say that the pirouettes were secure, the legs high, the feet pointed, the arms rigorously true to teh classical tradition. so the four little swans, well maybe 3 1/2, actually did most of the original choreography before they cracked the whip on the unsuspecting end swan. that was funny. besides this menage a trois, the ballet also featured swashbuckling swordplay that resulted in a cut finger. but it was all in a night's work for the trocks.. and they still weren't done. maya thickenthighya gave audience a magnificent the dying swan, molting every bourree of the way, gradually stricken with a strange disease that even love story could never match. it would gradually take away the use of her left arm, then her left leg, sending her collapsing to the floor. but she would rise to the audience's acclaim and produce a lavish set of bows that were almost as long as the original dance. and that was really entertaining. never did i wonder art central would feature this exclusive show. it was marvellous. and surprisingly, both dar and me enjoyed the show so much that i began my search on the net. sure enough, these men are now touring the land of the rising sun. next stop, singapore. trocks will be performing at the esplanade from 7th - 11th september and tickets are on sale now. i have my but though. cheapest ticket is as cheap or shall i say still a lil bit expensive at $55 and view to the stage from circle 2 and 3 can be as far far away. i still wish to glitter my way down to the theatre hall but spending $55 x 2, if dar wants to come along, would be too much, knowing it won't be the best view ever. or shall i just spend that amount purchasing their performance cds or whatever thru the net? estimation and calculation.. that doesn't leave me anywhere isn't it? really.

entah kenapa niari mulut aku asyik nak menyanyi jer. macam-macam lagu aku dah nyanyi, dari lagu lelaki ke lagu perempuan ke lagu berkumpulan. dangdut jer aku belum nyanyi. tolonggg.. tak berminatz sejak dulu lagi. cakap pasal lagu, aku suka lagu anuar zain yang baru tu.. title of the song.. mungkin. tu lagu kalau pasang earpiece, dengar dalam bas on the way home, boleh tangkap feeling jap aku. senikatanya yang so the feeling tu macam meluahkan isi hati si lelaki. cukup tarching tu lagu. betul.. tak bedek.. aku nyanyi eh.. biarkanlah saja diriku sendirian tanpamu biarkanlah aku merindu sekian lama bukan maksud untuk membisu sepi tanpa kata terpisahnya kita kerana mengejar impian mungkinkah bersama dua jiwa ini dalam mencari cinta sejati nan suci mungkinkah segala derita di jiwa akan terubat kini hanya satu pintaku sabarlah menanti ku kan pulang bersama... cinta... kalau masih tak convince, pi dengar sendiri pat radio... *promote ni* lagi satu, lagu yang pernah didendangkan oleh sharifah aini & broery marantika dulu.. sekarang kedengaran lagi di corong radio, kini dipopularkan oleh penyanyi husband & wife yang powderful, nurul & ajai. kalau tengah masak pat dapur ngan dar, aku suka nyanyi ni lagu. aku nak nyanyi jugak... seiring dan sejalan seindah bunga di taman bak burung nan megah kanda (ni word aku tukar jadi 'suami') ku puja bahagia kita berdua berlari berkejaran lupakan segala duka di kota di desa di gunung dan laut berlagu kita berdua dinda (dar tukar ni jadi 'ayang') kanda (aku lak tukar jadi 'abang') burung pun turut menyanyi tawa riang dan cinta mula bersemi la la la la la la la (macam la la la tamplongggg lak eh) best kan kalau each and every couple have their own song to sing? suka? aku lagi suka.. macam romantic gitu.. even though its not so-called our own song (tak lah macam aridewa yang pandai karang lirik & lagu tu) tapi its just that when the song is on air.. ia mengingatkan aku kembali to that happy moments ~ oh.. that was the song that i sang with dar in the kitchen. well.. sebetulnya aku tengah takde kerja. tengah sengsorang dok pat dalam opis. tengah free giler tu sebab boleh nyanyi & blog panjang berjela. haiz.. ni sumer setakat siulan bibir jer.. tak lebih dari itu.. su-wear.. kata doink, lirik lagu pat atas tu takde kena mengena dengan yang hidup ataupun yang mati. setakat siulan bibir di kala kesepian dalam opis.. *wink* bilaku kesepian hatiku tidak karuan suara angin yang lalu mendayu ke telinga hallermak.. lagu rusty blade pulak yang aku nyanyi.. sumer lagu old skool.. dah ah.. aku nak pi nyanyi lagi.. chalooooooooo

can't think of anything nice to write now. mind's blank. heart pumping, thinking of my almost bleak future. the only thing this mind can recall is the careless step missed on the deck of 2nd storey of blk 616 on tuesday morning and the 2 days rest plus the referral letter to tan tock seng this month end to meet the well-known dr sarbjit singh from department of orthopaedic surgery. how can i missed that one bloody step, for crying out loud?! and the only thing this mind can think of was the nasty note the poly doctor said and wrote a smoker. old surgery due to tissue clot. new trauma, another tissue clot at the same leg. advise to stop smoking, tissue clot may lead to being fatal. how can one sleep in peace now? suddenly i saw darkness....... *deep long sigh*

i woke up early this morning. thanks to the early nite out yesterday. hang up the laundry, wash the carpet, tidy up my room. dar, who has been awake since 6am that morning, was at the void deck, helping vincent to open up his shop. he called at 9am and suggested breakfast at mcdonalds. so i woke the kids up and we got ready. we walked to avenue 8 to have big breakfast and later browsed through shops located there. we went home roughly at 11am. dar karaoked while i clean up the mess in the kids room. all the clusters in their room i've tidied up and the room look superb. great. another job done! once i've done the kids bedroom, i took my cat huzey to bath. scrubbed and cleaned him up. by then, dar was already sleeping like a log in the bedroom. the kids continued their dad's halfway job - karaoke-ing in the living room. i watched movie on the cable channel. by 2pm, i was in the kitchen, storming up lunch, which i knew was a bit too late but we've had breakfast at mcdonalds so i assume everyone of us was still full. cooked stir-fried bittergourd and sweet sour sausages. had late lunch and woke dar up at 4.30pm. dar ate his lunch, got dressed and as usual, went down to vincent's shop to chat. after folding up all my dry laundry, i wear my tracks and get riyan to jog with me. i was thrilled coz it has been a very long time, years maybe, that i wear my tracks. i only lasted for barely 30 minutes, circling around the park, and was already gasping for fresh air. but i felt good after that. now, i'm looking forward to probably try and jog each day, after work. that's my only hope or i'll end up being a hippo on the 110cc bike. erggghhh!

dar, marriage... an ongoing process : of encouragement and support... of caring and sharing... of respect and consideration... of trust and honesty... of being and becoming... of embracing and letting go... of change and renewal... of endings and new beginnings... of growth and discovery... of being tested and challenged... of bringing out the best in one another... of having to work it through. this and more... over the years i've come to know - with you and i just want to take - this moment a heartfelt moment - to thank you and more importantly to say - i love you

love is.. being happy for the other person when they are happy being sad for the other person when they are sad being together in good times and being together in bad times love is the source of strength love is.. being honest with yourself at all times being honest with the other person at all times telling, listening, respecting the truth and never pretending love is the source of reality love is.. an understanding that is so complete that you feel as if you are a part of the other person accepting the other person just the way they are and not trying to change them to be something else love is the source of unity love is.. the excitement of planning things together the excitement of doing things together love is the source of future love is.. the fury of the storm the calm of the rainbow love is the source of passion love is.. giving and taking in daily situation being patient with each other's needs and desires love is the source of sharing love is.. knowing that the other person will always be with you regardless of what happens missing the other person when they are away but remaining near in heart at all times love is the source of security love is the source of life

i feel love today. how romantic. the butterflies in my stomach, it has been a while since i had this surreal feeling inside me. simply can't forget this lovely feeling. i feel good.. yes i do.. really good. remember the movie message in the bottle starring kevin costner? i just can't help thinking, surely there might be a soul out there who is romantic enough to do something crazy like that. what about poem in a bottle? a lovely poem that reads let my love for you be crystal clear may the sincerity of my love subside your fears i would never leave you, i would never be gone with me you would never again be alone you will never find a love more true than this love i hold for you written by Gary C.Daniels ~1987~ would dar do something like that for me? would dar write me a poem and shove it in the bottle to let it floats at sea? i would... but not dar coz he's not the romantic type although he is good at making me smile. i love him for what he is. he only sang to me... yeah.. like marc anthony's you sang to me which goes like this, if i still remember it correctly; i just wanted you to comfort me when I called you late last night you see i was falling into love oh yes, i was crashing into love oh of all the words you sang to me about life, the truth and being free yeah you sang to me, oh how you sang to me girl i live off how you make me feel so i question all this being real coz i'm not afraid to love for the first time i'm not afraid of love oh, this day seems made for you and me and you showed me what life needs to be yeah you sang to me, oh you sang to me all the while you were in front of me i never realized i just can't believe i didn't see it in your eyes i didn't see it, i can't believe it oh but i feel it when you sing to me how i long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies and i promise you this time i'll see it in your eyes i didn't see it, i can't believe it oh but i feel it when you sing to me just to think you live inside of me i had no idea how this could be now i'm crazy for your love can't believe i'm crazy for your love the words you said you sang to me and you showed me where i wanna be yeah you sang to me, oh you sang to me how romantic... how sweet... how wonderful... i'm blessed to be love... i'm blessed to feel love... i thanked god for everything... nampaknya cik ramlee kita dah kena loteri.. kling klong klang klong.. *all smiles*

i had their wedding anni date wrong again! duh! why does number 11 keeps coming to my mind, thinking that they wed on the 11th. called ma and she said its 18 of July. so much for my rush on getting those artwork printed out. so much for my big mouth on reminding my siblings again and again about the family get together this sunday. so much for being mad at dar on how i have reminded him that 11th of July is my parents 30th wedding anniversary and it is actually on the 18th. whyyy oh whyyy.. hmmm.. lemme think now what does 11 signify.. 11 signifies November.. my birthday.. hehe. now, about the bike that i hate so much but yet couldn't say no to a ride. it's small, it's compact, it's red, it's cute, it's really, really cute but when dar ride it across the void deck and park it infront of the provision shop downstairs, everybody at the shop laughed. oh my god! this is sure one hell of a disaster, can't imagine if i were to actually sit on it with him, they would not just Laugh Out Loud, they would sure Rolling On The Floor Laughing. i can't face the fact. however, i did try to have a seat on that bike like say around 3am this morning (dar was so engrossed on touching up whatever necessary even though it was a new bike). it was not that bad although we had a hysterical laugh in the wee hours under the void deck. in fact, my legs are not at all touching the ground like how when i sit on RXK and i mean on RXK, my feet used to touching the ground flat. hmm.. and the only bad thing is the thin tyres, which i somehow had this weird thoughts that it might burst when both of us sit on the bike together, plus the width of the bike is so small that people behind me could see my big fat ass that somehow will bulge out of the comfortable seat. overall.. not that bad. i have not test ride it though but i'll do it this midnight to mustafa centre, that's the bravest or worst thing i could do, when everyone is not watching. sigh..

i had fun meeting the gerls at mazmazza yesterday after work although i left early to watch the disappointing last episode of cinta bollywood. i was just ready to get to bed when dar said he needed to discuss an important thing with me. i was then so tired and sleepy so i suggested he discuss it with me tomorrow morning instead. dar said he could'nt wait till tomorrow. he needed my answer urgently. i sighed hard so in order not to disappoint him, i sat back and listened. my almost close eyes went big. my jaw opened wide. i gasped and i knew he's not joking about it! why??! how could he do this to me?? after so much of my plea and i almost felt like crying, he only left me with 2 choice which i thought was as good as nothing. 1. to agree with him and sign all the documents this saturday; or 2. to disagree and no monthly maintenance for me. isnt' there any other alternatives? he shooked his head firmly. that's the best he can offer for himself and myself, he claimed. then, why bother to discuss???! dammit!! i could not take it anymore. i was like huffing and puffing for a moment. just one look and he fell totally in love! he damn well know i cannot go through this. i definately cannot suit to this new adjustment. he asked me to think about it and gave me a deadline till friday. i looked at his totally worked-up face and tell him i hated him so much for doing that to me. he assured me that it will be all right that everything will turn out fine. it's much more better this way so that he can manage his monthly expenses well. i shrugged, still not happy on his decision to get a replacement bike for his current super4 vtec spec II. now that he has to travel all around the island to deliver mobile phones, he said he cannot take the high maintenance for his current bike plus his company is not willing to compensate full refund for his daily petrol. yeah.. as if that was my problem! i will be a laughing stock, definately! in the end, i have to complied to his request on getting a kapcai-lookalike ~wave~... arghhhhh!!!! peh kelakar! badan dah besar, naik motor kecik... makkkkkkkkkkkkk... tolong!! aku tak sanggup nak tempuh minggu depan..... this weekend, aku nak pi ah boy, beli helmet hitam, visor hitam, jaket hitam.. iskk.. iskkkkk.. uwaaaaaaaa...!

Synopsis : Cinta Bollywood Episod : Season Finale Julia and her parents went to Shahril's mum house. Shahril came back, looking moody and went straight to his room. Moments after being conforted by his mum, he said to Julia and her father that he agreed taking Julia as his wife. He then step out of the house and said he wanted visit the cemetery. Wishy washy as it was, Julia met up with her bestfriend, Yasmin, to apologize about her past behaviour. The video went taking this two friends running about in East Coast beach. Shahril courage up his guts to call Julia out for dinner. Julia agreed and went to meet Shahril at Hyatt Hotel. Julia declared that her love for Shahril has been the same as before. Shahril said that he needed time to mend his broken heart for the 'death' of Farhana. Julia understood his position and willing to wait till Shahril open up his heart for her. Wishy washy again.. story about Farhana which I don't like telling. She woke up in the hospital after a 1 year coma, however with no memory of who she was or what had happened to her. News of her regaining conciousness was broadcast on the so-called Channel Asia. Her step-mother called Sheikh up and suggested to fetch her home. While Shahril and Julia were planning for their marriage, Farhana spend her time with her step-mother trying to pick up old memory but failed. Then, there she was in Tepak Sireh Restaurant with her step-mother saying that she remembered coming there once upon a time. She told her step-mother whom she now call mummy, that she wishes to roam around the upper part of the restaurant. Shahril and Julia, who had made arrangements to have their grand wedding at Tepak Sireh Restaurant, arrived there to meet their wedding organizer. They went looking around the whole restaurant, not realising Farhana was there. Julia had left her handbag on the 'pelamin' and Farhana, who was standing in front of the 'pelamin', took Julia's bag and wanting to return to the owner. Julia who only realised later that she has forgotten her handbag told Shahril to wait for her while she went out to the 'pelamin' to pick up her handbag. Julia saw Farhana holding her handbag and was disbelief when she saw it was indeed Farhana standing in front of her. Farhana, not able to remember anything in the past, just return the bag with the smile and said that she recognize Julia through the wedding poster downstairs. Julia just smile, nodded but still in disbelief. Julia asked for Farhana's name to reconfirm and when Farhana reply, Julia walk away. She pulled Shahril and said they have to leave the place. Shahril, cannot understand what's going on, was told to walk quickly by Julia and Julia promised to tell him what's going on later. They boarded the van that is waiting for them downstairs. Next take, Farhana making face expression on why she can't remember anything. Then came the sound of a narrator telling the ending. Talking about love and talking about the true love between Farhana, Shahril and Julia. The end. I was totally disappointed with the ending! Unless the directors have plans to do CB-3, then I would love to know whether Shahril and Julia did marry and whether Shahril did saw Farhana again somewhere and whether Shahril live happily ever after with his 2 wifes (although I don't like Farhana that much.. khekher). Ending just tergantung... phooooi.. so disappointing!

days of our life ~ me and ma during our solemnization days. something that i've come up for their wedding anni this sunday. Tanggal 11.07.04 penuh bermakna Perkahwinan yang dibina atas dasar pilihan orang tua Akhirnya membuahkan seribu makna Perhubungan yang disemat erat dengan penuh kasih sayang Bertahan jua selama tiga puluh tahun Alangkah cepatnya masa berlalu Alangkah peritnya sisa-sisa kehidupan Yang pernah dilalui oleh orang tuaku Membesarkan aku serta adik-adikku Membiayai segala keperluan kami Menyekolahkan kami untuk menimba ilmu Ilmu ukhrawi serta duniawi Semata-mata untuk kesenangan di hari esok Titik peluh serta jasa dan pengorbananmu Wahai insan yang aku hormati Tiada tolok bandingannya Tidak mampu aku membalas jasa dan baktimu Tidak mampu aku kuatkan semangatku Tanpa berkat doa serta tunjuk ajarmu Pengorbananmu selama 30 tahun Tidak dapat dinilaikan dengan wang ringgit Penat lelahmu menjaga kami Bekerja siang dan malam untuk menampung kami Tidak dapat dibalas dengan wang ringgit Namun jauh di selubuk hatiku Aku berdoa agar Allah memperkenankan pintaku Pinta hambaMu yang daif ini Pinta hambaMu yang tak pernah mengenang jasa Pinta hambaMu yang terlalu alpa dengan dunia Agar ditempatkan insan yang aku hormati DisisiMu kelak bersama para penghuni Syurga yang lain Amin ya rabbil alamin.. Tanpa mereka, tiadalah aku serta adik-adikku Tanpa tunjuk ajar mereka, tiadalah kami Kenal erti baik atau jahat, erti salah atau benar Tanpa kasih sayang mereka, tiadalah kami Membesar dengan perangai yang sempurna Tanpa doa mereka, tiadalah kami Menempuh hidup ini dengan selamat dan bahagia Aku bersyukur, Ya Allah! Sekurang-kurangnya aku masih Mempunyai kedua orang tua Yang saling kasih mengasihi Yang saling bertolak ansur Yang saling faham memahami Jodoh dan pertemuan di tanganmu Ya Allah Kita hanya merancang, tuhan yang menentukan Sesungguhnya, tuhan telah menentukan segalanya Selamat Ulang Tahun Perkahwinan Yang Ke-30 Tahun, Papa & Mama Semoga perkahwinan ini diredhai Allah sehingga ke syurga.. Amin..

apart from having to standby at home for an urgent cargo clearance (just in case any defects found and i have to go down to cargo complex to do survey), i did good in the kitchen. woke up finally at 9.30am after much tossing and turning and had my shower. watching dar still sleeping on the bed makes me wanna continue my sleep but no, today, i have to do marketing. nothing left in the fridge to storm any nice dishes. dar woke up reluctantly to follow me to the nearby market at avenue 8. bought minced beef, stingray, some vege and herbs. after marketing, i dragged dar to mcdonalds to have a big breakfast. ughh, another pound to gain. blueek! after breakfast, went back home and cooked a very simple arab dish, which i had tasted in mazmazza the other day, the one that i had to eat with kouskous(pronounce as kuskus), a fine looking wheat which joyah describe as kuih tart nyer tepung sebelum dicetak! kahkah! i had fun actually doing something that i like. by noon, lunch were ready although dar had already left for work. me and my mum-in-law, being vege fanatic, loves the dish so much. this is a kind of soup with spicy, sweet & sour taste, filled with lots of onions, cabbage, potato, carrots (plus i put in lots other mixed vege and button mushroom), herbs and meatball. yum! yum! after lunch, watched home movie and message jep, asking him about the fishing plan tonight. jep called back saying to change it to next week coz leia has a function to attend tonite. grrr @ leia! aniways, i told him i'm glad it's changed to next week coz i'm wanted to watch The Eye movie on channel 8 tonite. so not a problem about the changes, jep & leia. hehe! i guess i must be feeling bored to death sitting around at home, thus i called droolz and said i'm going to town and will meet her after she finished work at daisy nail art. got the kids ready and boy, were they excited, not just to go out to somerset but finally have the chance to wear the heely-imitate roller shoes that i bought for them last 2 days. the youngest still struggling to get it right. hmm, perhaps he's too heavy agaknya. so i promised myself to just go and bring the kids out and meet droolz at her workplace in orchard plaza, nothing extravanganza! we reached somerset a quarter to 5pm and droolz only finished work at 5pm so i decided to just have a browse at the OG closing down sale. i can't resist!! in the end, i bought 2 tops which cost me S$21, 2 cotton pillow at S$14, a blush S$6 and finally decided to stop. droolz joined us at OG and bought herself a top which cost S$6. after browsing the 4 level high department store, the kids wanted to eat so we decided to go mcdonalds at centrepoint. mcdonalds again! definately piling an extra 2kg now! while the kids search for available seat, droolz wanted to go guardian to buy a prescribed chewing gums. again! my eyes just went crazy. can't resist to buy a cherry flavored lip balm and 2 packs of that prescribed chewing gum which is meant for cleaner, whiter teeth actually. after mcdonalds, we walk towards cuppage and hailed a cab. send droolz to jalan besar stadium and finally headed home. duh.. so much for promising myself not to shop! and that's how i spend my saturday. now, i'm going to rest and play with my two cats... till then, toodleelooooo..

aaaaaaaarrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! this cannot be happening to me! tell me this is a joke! my usb port for the old office digcam is not working at all. i can't find the removable drive in my computer. even adeline's pc ain't showing anything that shows G drive. arrghh.. this is definately a pain in the ass. looks like i have to wait till justin leave the office and try it on his laptop. i'm not giving up yet, i'm just pissed.. so pissed that nothing's working despite several attempts. if really cannot upload, then to my friends ~ lin, nana & lily ~ sorry for the posing effort created by you guys during the karaoke event. also, not forgetting ~ momma, joy & hasrin ~ for the long bloddy pose, painstaking climbing of stairs effect and lots more. i can't say more.... i'll still am trying, dammit!

courtesy from cousin's blog. an old pic my cousin found when she's visiting nenek's younger sister in bawean island. i'm the lil baby in ma's arm, being the first born grandchild in the family. i wanna talk about my beloved grandpa. being the first grandchild, the memory with my late grandpa is still fresh & vivid. although nenek (the hindu/majapahit lookalike that harm mentioned in her blog) is my step-grandma, i'm still closer to her than my own real grandma who is still alive and kicking at yishun. i still remember how fortunate i was to have a grandpa who never fail to picked me up, back then, from my parent's rented house in kim keat avenue for a weekend stay at his place in upper east coast road (the spot where a private estate is standing tall near the traffic light, opposite chai chee secondary). the time will always be after his friday's prayer in nearby mosque and it will only be me that he picked up although at that time, droolz was already born. i was in kindergarten years (that time, no K2!) when both my grandparents went for haj in mecca. during their absence, ma & pa has to stay over in upper east coast to look after my uncle & aunt who were still in their secondary school years and due to the long distance journey from upper east coast road to kim keat avenue (near toa payoh lorong 7) i was excused from class for 1 month. i can still remember, it was only weeks after they're gone and at that time, me and droolz were playing near the garage, ma was cooking in the small cooking place (that my late grandpa built to store only dried woods and the stove at that time was nothing but just bricks which is neatly place with a space in between and wire mesh on the top and the burning elements used were only dry woods, coconut leaves, husk and charcoal) and pa & uncle anuar were somewhere in the house. my lil aunt was in school and i can't remember where harm's ma (another aunt) was at that time, probably working. then, a white muis van approached the long driveway and parked near the garage. a middle-age man asked for ma and the next thing i knew, everybody were crying. me and droolz, being very young, could'nt understand why thus when pa told us grandpa had passed away, we shed any tears at all... perhaps we don't understand their sadness. it took me a few minutes to understand what really happened then i cried and ma hugged me & droolz. nenek was scheduled to come back early but she carried on with her haj. nobody believed it anyway, not even my two aunts and uncles coz grandpa was perfectly strong when he left all of us to mecca. but i guess god answered his prayer coz he ever told ma before his departure that if he were to die, he wished to die in the holy land of mecca. now, no graves to visit.. just prayers in my sleep. though grandpa was buried in mecca, i have always place this 'niat' deep in my heart since young that one day, i will go and visit him in there. i dreamt of grandpa the night before my solemnization and told ma about it and what ma commented made me cry. i dreamt that i was getting ready and the mak andam was beautifying me when i heard a salam given at the door. i recognised that voice and stand up to have a peek and there he was, my late grandpa, standing still in between all relatives at the crowded entrance and all he did was just gave me a big wide smile. i smiled, was then in tears, wanted to approach him and give him a big hug but he disappeared beneath the big crowd. ma said perhaps he's happy for me, perhaps this is a sign of his blessing. i cried. regret that he can't see me in my bridal suit. i still felt his presence sometimes and wished that he's not dead, just missing somewhere in mecca. and god did i cry when i was back at bawean and met his cousins there. one of his cousin, nenek mina if i'm not mistaken really had the same resemblance as him and i cried so hard making the old woman feeling so strange. when pa asked why i cried, i just pour my heart out that she looks like my grandpa. droolz probably didn't have the clear image of grandpa which is why she didn't actually felt the same. i really missed my late grandpa, the most remembered and the most unright man i've known.