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With this, I take a bow for a short while. Paperwork are a mess, on the table, on the partition, in the drawer. *Sigh* Life at work is hard - no time to take 5 sometimes. I need a break from work and baby, which I have to thank my old classmate for trying their best to arrange a meet up tonight at Boat Quay (oh with permission granted by the Tok Penghulu, of course). I badly need to release some stress. Till then... have a good weekend peeps.

YESTERDAY

Yesterday, Rayyan grew a year older, 12th to be exact. I was too busy with work, the late stay in the office that I didn't manage to get him anything. The husband somehow saved the day with a surprise birthday cake while I shooed the young man out of the house to mail some letters. The young man came back later, to only be greeted with darkness in the house, a birthday cake with lighted candle and a birthday song from the Ayah, the Mama and the 2 Adik. I'm glad there's more smile on the delighted face. Managed to end the 'event' with a loving kiss to his fat cheek.

Yesterday, I met someone of my past. He was sitting at the bus stop while I was in the bus on my way back home after a tiring day at work. I was glancing outside the window, listening to my MP3, not even knowing the man I was looking at was him. I only realised that he was looking at me when the bus started to move and the look, I cannot forget that look. Somehow, didn't want to have that guilty feeling although I didn't do anything wrong, I told the husband about it. It was a complete relief.

Yesterday, I went hysterical in the early morning, no thanks to my other half. Imagine this - You're sleeping soundly in the dark when suddenly you're awaken by the sound of Cik Pon-T mengilai-ngilai sekuat hati and the sound was so intense that I had to look around; the window, the toilet and even grab hard my husband arm and waking him vigorously. The husband woke up, took his mobile phone then press something, and the sound of Cik Pon-T gone. It was an alarm sound from a hp that he was repairing yesterday night. Damn the phone!! I couldn't even close my eyes after that. My whole body felt so cold that I shiver badly. In the evening, the husband showed me his arm, my nail marks was so deep. Padan muka!

Click here and here to view Sarah Tembam.

ONE FINE DAY

I was watching Pearl Harbour Part I on Channel 5 when I spotted my little munchkin making so much noise, as if talking/scolding to someone/something and I decided to catch it on the digcam.

" Eiii.. Mammamamma... *laugh* Papapapapa... Ahhhh.. Eeeii... " She probably trying to catch that someone/something's attention and of course I was surprise to see her in that position making a hell lot of noise that I can't concentrate on the good show on TV.

" What are you doing, Baby? " I asked and that gave her a sudden shock. She really terperanjat, apa kan tidak, she was so syiok in her own world that she didn't notice I was behind her. LOL. Then she talk to me in her own linggo which of courselah I don't understand but I answered her anyway.

"Don't touch Huzey's biscuits. That is for Huzey, not for you. Huzey mamam biscuit, Baby punya mamam nanti Mama kasi." She was quiet for 5 seconds, maybe understood what I said earlier.

Let's enjoy the next pictures with dialogues that I created to accompany the pictures.

" Huzey, Mama said to eat your biscuit. " Huzey froze, still in shock to see the little giant standing infront of him.

" You'd better finish your biscuit okay. Think of those homeless cats downstairs, they have to find their own food you know. " See her pointing finger. Marahlah tu.

" I'm talking to you nicely. Don't be scared. Come, let me see you have a bite. "

" If you are not coming out, I will crawl to you. So what's your take? "

" Fine! If you don't want these irrestible little biscuit, I will eat it on your behalf. "

And before I can reach her, she popped 2 biscuit into her tiny mouth. I of course have to dig it out and that's the end of the story.

GREAT ACHIEVEMENT? MAYBE

My so-cannot-sit-still-for-one-second daughter is going 1 next month. Her ayah wants to throw a birthday party for her but her mama insisted not to because after damaged done, it is her mama who will be the exhausted one. Her ayah then sulk and said he got no mood to talk about it since I refused the bash. Maybe I should bash him up instead for being so unsensitive. We've had countless of majlis done at our place and I surely know that I will be the most busy chef cum dishwasher cum public relations cum cleaner while he will jolly well do the entertaining bit especially with the male guest at the corridor with cigarette butts in between his fingers. Sungguh tak adil which is why I detest unnecessary party for large crowds at home. Catering? I don't believe in catering unless if it's for really large majlis coz I think with the amount of money I pay for their service and the so limited food, I can come out with more dishes less money spend. Haiz. I seriously cannot decide whether to throw a party or not for the birthday baby. We'll see how lah.

With Sarah turning 1 next month made realise even more how time flies real fast. I felt like just giving birth last month. At 11 months, Sarah can finally walk without help. Now that she can walk, I can't have peace even at shower. She keeps knocking on the bathroom door and slide the door open herself then peek on me. Shame! Shame! Unlike Iman (Crab's little munchkin) who can sit still on his small chair inside the bathroom jadi security guard while Crab shower, Sarah is different. She chose to stand by the door, looking, smiling at me, pointing to my dunno what, playing chak chak with me and laugh happily after that. The only main worry I have is she loves making this errrk-sound-like-Juon and believe me, when she does that, I will shorten my shower and dash out of the bathroom as fast as I could. Even at night when the lights are out and she still not in the sleeping mode, she will roll over the bed, play with her sungguh-masam pillow, laugh and make that sound which I find so irritating and I have to switch back on the lights. Comform arh mak dia penakut.

Will be meeting mum this weekend and click some photos here and there. Wait for the pics next week. Hopefully can update on Monday. Happy weekend to all. Cheerios.

THE MINAH JENIN

I am one minah jenin, a plain married woman who loves to imagine and day dream. Sometimes the things that I imagine or day dream about never happen at all but if luck is on my site, it tends to become a reality. I just love day dreaming when I am alone doing nothing or if I happen to pass by rows of beautiful big houses with expensive cars that I suddenly fall in love with. I then imagine myself to be the owner of the house, what I will decorate it with, what plants will I grow in the front yard and who shall I bring stay with me. Haha.. this is not living in denial but imagining something really puts my stress aside and it kinda make my day sometimes.

I used to imagine what it is like to have a soulmate who is not a Muslim. It turns out a reality when I met one nice looking Eurasian guy who fell heads over heals with me. Life is nothing but so very nice, with people staring like they've never seen an odd couple before and soft whispers of the then gossip mongers. That is not imagination, it was a reality but somehow it was also reality that puts me back on my feet. Due to the different beliefs, religion etc etc etc, I dumped him for another guy. Bad bad girl I was last time.

I also used to imagine what it is like to live a life of a flight attendant. I got an offer when I was nineteen or twenty with Brunei Airlines but being young and naive, I turned it down when I was told to base in Brunei. I can't bear to be apart from my family that time. So, can't start a career as a flight attendant, I started my own long winded novel featuring a flight attendant who is so popular that she can't choose between 2 good men who truly madly deeply love her. But, the novel couldn't be completed since I started it back in year 2000, mainly because I want a beautiful ending and I can't decide which plot to kill first. Blearghh.

Then I used to imagine having my own house and what furniture or design that I would love to see in that house. I just love cozy and dark apartment, you know, like how Mat Salleh live in the West. Small but cozy. I finally got my own house but the royal highness just doesn't share the same design concept as me. He'd prefer a house full of lightings, terang berderang and spacious whilst I'd prefer the opposite. So, that is basically the reason why I'd prefer to stay, sleep, eat, shit, play in my cozy bedroom.

So you see, having an imagination is really fun. When I surf the net and find something that I like to buy or places that I like to visit, I usually try and achieve it, if not dream about it. I am me and I don't have split personality. I just love to imagine, that's all. You should try it, it does makes me smile at least. And as much I would love to see the husband arrive on time, sitting calmly in my dream car outside my office, I can't deny the fact that I am living in reality. Yes, he is outside the office and horning the horn of his sungguh cute kapcai. Got to go before the royal highness appear in front of me and slam hard my head for continuosly day dreaming. Heh.

FLU BUG

While the boys are whinning about being sick - having fever, sore throat and all, I whine about the husband breaking his promise to bring me out yesterday evening. I was looking forward to a relax evening alone with the husband, since Baby is sleeping over granny's at Bishan. Coming back home to an empty room made me feeling a little flustered. Perhaps I'm so used with Baby's afternoon greeting, her Heh, her Japanese head-nod and her smile showing her front buck teeth. I chose to spend the boring hours, while waiting for the husband to arrive home, cleaning my room, stacking nicely Baby's clothings in her small portable wardrobe. Then, I watched the TV, fingers can't help playing with Baby's soft pillow and nose can't help but sniffing the bau masyam bantal smell. I am missing my Baby already. Bleargh..

The eldest however didn't make my day. I saw 2 empty kotak drink of Milo in the kitchen's waste basket and next, I became a nagger, especially after he admitted he drank the Milo. He complained of bad sore throat and yet he drank that Milo. Macam mana mulut ni tak start membebel. The nagging didn't stop there. I even promised to bring back chocolates today to shove it into his throat so that his sore throat would go away. Dah tahu batuk and demam, jagalah makan minum. While I waste my breathe and voice reminding him to drink lots of plain water, take his medicine and he can do that behind my back. Hmmppft. Fed up.

The husband pulak, when I called him at 7.15pm yesterday, he said he should be home a bit late coz he needs to meet his operation manager. The a bit late made me furious coz the a bit late turn out to be home at 9pm. Nak keluar haper dah pukul 9? Might as well land on the bed and watch TV. Well, good thing the husband was good at comforting, only when he knows he's in the wrong of course. True, we landed on the bed and watched Dimensi (haiz mengarut.. mengarut) and afterwards, Amazing Race. By midnight, we couldn't control our hunger. The husband went out to get Nasi Lemak and there you go, extra cholestrol into the gemuk body already.

Later, gonna fetch my mutchkin back from Bishan. Can't wait. Miss her bad breathe liao. Heh!

NEVER A BANANA BEARING FRUIT TWICE

That sounds so odd but yet familiar. Bak pepatah Melayu, takkan pisang berbuah dua kali. While typing out this post, I'm still questioning myself should I do it in English or Malay. Just the thought that someone far might come across this blog by accident and reading this post might just make his/her or their blood go upstairs. What the heck, I have the right. It's my blog, my thought, my mind, my post anyway. I don't care if that person reading this might terasa but god knows if he/she or they know about this blog of mine.

So I heard about 'my replacement' tendering her resignation this month end. Why she tender? I heard she dislike that Mat Salleh Singapore who is now overall incharge of my ex company since my ex big boss migrated to where Burj Al Arab is. Can't help myself mentioning all the ex's here. That scumbag Mat Salleh Singapore, who terminated my contract while I'm in my 4th month pregnancy, who never gave me another chance even after I've spend 6 blardy years in that company, who never appreciated all my effort for him be it work or personal (yes personal even to his Melayu wife whom I also detest) and who claims entertainment with family as entertainment for business associates, had the cheek to say, at least I listened to all his instructions, my English is fluent and he has no problem communicating with me, I communicate the best with suppliers and he has no worries about the company if he's on leave compared to that replacement of mine, who was underpaid - excuse me, half of my ex salary of $2.5k. Who on earth would want to do multi-task work, a secretary, a project coordinator, an accounts helper, stock control, site inspection with a pay of $1.2k? That Mat Salleh Singapore is having regrets? He should. He should be ashamed of what he did to me and everybody. I was kicked out and feeling so helpless, looking for jobs and going for jobs interview in my preggy state which of course was declined. I only gave up looking for another job when I was in my 7th month. I was desparate but that Mat Salleh Singapore got no sense of sensitivity and even asked me to leave immediately and I left crying after half hour arriving office that fateful morning. I still remember how my project manager and site installers tendered the same time because they cannot get along with this Mat Salleh 'angkat buah boss' Singapore. Now, he worry that this replacement girl will badmouth him to the new girl if there is ever one and he is feeling the pinch but no, he is still so thick skin as ever. What he doesn't know is everybody is just enduring his character there, even my source. He thinks he can find someone not calculative like me doing all the worst job people can imagine. The funny thing is when he told my source that he is not willing to pay anyone for $2.5k for admin work. He probably doesn't know how much I earned way before as I was there before he does so I don't blame him for thinking the ex company is paying me just too much. I climbed so far to have that pay and for your information dear Mat Salleh Singapore, its for 6 years of being a servant to the company not juggling balls, moron.

The husband was asking me to work back for that company. Phooi! No matter how stress I am over at this new company, I don't think its worth my ass going back there, unless I'm offered the old salary plus compensation for not being able to find a job for blardy 7 months. Hah!

FAMILY AFFAIR

I am still saddened about the news of little Nonoi. How can someone do that to an innocent and gullible child like Nonoi. I still cannot accept the fact and still wishes to know about the motive of the murder or unintentional accident as some were saying but again, even if it's unintentional, how can he, as a stepfather, or 'whoever' left the dead child under an underpass without proper burial? How insane can these people be? To Nonoi, whose petname is almost similar as one of my cuzzy, God loves you more than those people who are close to you (ie. the family). May you rest in peace. Amin.

The past weekend was however a delighted one. It was my off day last Saturday and I get to spend the whole day with my baby, kids, parents and siblings. Sadly, the husband had to work thus the affair without him. Ma and Pa came over with home cooked lunch - beef rendang, chicken liver, sambal goreng, sambal sotong, fried chicken and lontong. I felt like hari raya.. heh! Mid afternoon, we went out from my place to Tanglin, to watch my lil frat's friendly soccer match. Despite lil frat's sweat and tiredness of catching & kicking balls, Baby won the Man Of The Match instead. We saw her fidgetting and upon undressing her naked in front of a team of soccer players, we found one blardy big red ants under her armpit, 4 blardy small but still red ants on her buttocks and one more in her shoe. She bravely bear the pain. Bravo.

After the match ended, we walked down to Tanglin Mall where the flea market was going on. Just nice. Droolz came down after work with Irfan and I bought some cheap cheap stuff. Heh. Finally, arrived home feeling satisfied that Saturday. Come Sunday, the husband was at home and we did some shoppings again at the nearby CompassPoint. Bought Baby's monthly needs and had lunch over at the Banquet. I somehow preferred Fork & Spoon over Banquet but too bad there's no Fork & Spoon in CompassPoint.

Overall, I am contented having to spend more time with the family and mostly my beloved little munchkin. The bonding was there, I realised. Yesterday and today, when I sent her to the baby sitter, right after I close the gate and said Bye Bye Baby, she cried. My heart really melted and how I wish I don't have to go to work at that moment. Thinking about the headlines made me love my children more. Mushy already... blearghhhh.

NOT A HUNDRED PERCENT

First of all, my condolences to Crab & family for the demise of her beloved father in law last Monday. It really awe me to see the pale looking wife of the late yesterday afternoon. Put myself in her shoes and I don't think I can handle it - I mean the late passed away at his work place. This is what I would call as Qada' and Qadar.

Since I took half day yesterday, I decided not to waste my day after the melawat. Thought of going to Dad's place but Dad was having a bad headache. Carrying the petite-looking-but-heavy Sarah, I then went to meet Hubby and friends at Tanjung Irau. Bad decision. I didn't bring along Sarah's useful pram and from 3+ pm to 6pm, I have to observe and carry her with my own bare arms under the hot blazing sun. When I got home, I felt so weak and feverish. It must be the blardy hot then rain weather. Tucking Sarah into bed wasn't that hard coz she's more tired than me. We both felt asleep throughout the night, right after showering together.

This morning, when I wake up, I felt sick. I think it must be fever but I strongly pull myself to work. At work, it's not a one hundred percent but good thing is dear boss is out playing golf, so not that much stress anyway. This head, however, cannot wipe out that look I gave him yesterday when he ask if I have got extra cash in my savings. I find it a nuisance, really.