aku terima panggilan talipon dari seorang perempuan yang tak ku kenali, mengatakan yang dar ada hubungan sulit dengan perempuan lain. i was damn furious but still cannot bring myself to totally believe her story. she said dar was introduced to this woman by his own friend, fitri. my god! how could he?! how could fitri do that to me, knowing that dar is already married. i dun have fitri's number so i couldn't do anything at all. the anonymous woman yang call aku cuma cakap yang dar and this woman baru berhubungan. after i hang up the phone, aku nangis macam nak rak. perasaan aku memberontak, semua barang-barang atas dressing table aku buang ke lantai. mak in law aku saw aku mengamuk and ask why. aku ceritakan dengan dia about what i heard from this woman. my heart dah sore, so damn sore! and i juz couldn't believe it when my mak in law suggested i called dar first to seek the truth. i called and put it on loudspeaker. of courselah.. being a guy, mana nak admit. he mati-mati tak admit that he's having a relationship until i mentioned the name fitri. he suddenly kept quiet. ntah macam mana, he confessed although not knowing that he's on loudspeaker and that his own mum is listening. with all my mighty guts, depan mak dia aku tanya, so u pon dah main ah ngan ni pompuan?? he kept quiet.. choosing not to answer.. and i'd already guess so that a silence means yes. aku terus matikan talipon then look at his mum face. first time aku tengok mak dia terperanjat. dar called my hp and said he's coming home to sort this problem out. aku cakap tak payah, juz leave me alone. he said he's on his way. aku tunggu jer dalam bilik, while his mum makes her exit, not talking or telling me anything. the silence really deafening my ears. then dar came into the bedroom... taking his towel he just went and have his shower as though nothing happened. i wanted to scream at him but i just dunno why, nothing came out from me. aku dah tak boleh tahan my emotions.. perasaan aku dah sebak.. dada aku dah sakit tahan marah.. i started kicking all the pillows and blanket from the bed. jangan pandangku sebelah mata hanya kerna namaku wanita walau ada kelemahannya engkau pun apa tidaknya oh jangan pandangku sebelah mata nanti kejantananmu tercabar takkanku menyerah kalah kerana madahmu berat sebelah tohmahanmu akan ku tepis selagi persis tak terkikis seksis ntah macam mana, telinga aku seakan-akan terdengar lagu dendangan anita sarawak yang baru SEKSIS. then moments later, dar kuar dari bilik air and approached me.. yang.. yang.. bad dreams eh?? oi.. dah kul 8.. bangun.. apa ni berserak.. bantal sumer pat bawah! A S T A R G H F I R R U L L A H i opened up my eyes and there dar was staring at me, with a frown on his face. the radio alarm has gone off, padan pon aku dengar macam suara kak nita menyanyi.. then minutes later, alarm hp pon berdering... dar kissed me good morning as he always do and i was still stunned looking at the mess i made on the bed. ya allah.. nasib baik mainan tidur.. phew.. aku bangun, kemas katil then had my shower while dar prepare his usual nasi lemak routine.

nothing much to say except that me and dar went to his fren's wedding at whampoa. selamat jugak dia menjadi suami orang. majlis was allright but late afternoon, hujan peh lebat sampai pengantin terkurung dalam rumah (since the majlis was held at next void deck). first time aku tengok pengantin disusul pergi ke pelamin dengan menggunakan payong besar (alah.. yang macam apek motor jual aiskrim pakai or payong yang tersedia pat outdoor seats in most fast food restaurant). left the majlis at 5.30pm and the downpour almost stopped. sampai rumah, aku and dar basah kuyup. kepala aku dah start pening while dar's body temperature terus shoot up. kul 7 plus, dia dah gone.. after makan ubat, terus tertidur then start meracau pulak. the kids pulak, their mother dah amik although the youngest belum pulih completely from his fever. sumer jangkit aku lah ni, since i know gastric flu is contagious. talking about the kid's mum, i wanna share something evil with you, dear blog. and after that sms-ing, i began to wonder whether i am a good mum or not. ME : XXX, wat time are you taking the kids esok? how long are u planning to take them aniwae? nak bawakkan baju or tak payah? btw, riyan is running a fever but i dah packkan his medication. SHE : how abt 2 day can i dah kat tmp nak balik wdls n 4 dem staying der i tink until my parents balik umrah can bawa baju jalan n sebab dat day i nak bawa bdk2 tak da baju jln. ME : u can take them 2day tapi after 8 boleh? their dad tengah beli makanlah 4 dinner. and is it possible 4 me 2 hv them back on the fri of last wk june - got plans 2 hv a short break b4 school re-opens. SHE : since 2day my daughter daddy dia ambil i free ME : so how? my question earlier..... SHE : i tink it ok dat can be done so if u 1 dem early it ok but after my parent come back ok ME : Yr parents coming back bila? and u r ok taking them after 8? last thing, i bawakkan baju jln nanti suruh they bring back tau coz baju jln tak banyak here esp riyan coz he cepat put on weight, byk baju baru beli dah tak leh muat. SHE : k i take dem skg at 8 SHE : yang, i nak go hougang dulu sebab anak buah i nya mak baru tel nak suruh i ambil dem, can? the sms that she wrongly send to me SHE : k takpe bawa je apa yg patut abt my parent dey leaving 3rd coming 14th ME : oh. u fetching ur anak buah at hougang also? ni actually sindiran SHE : yup at amk she tried to peng story pulak.. tadi cakap hougang, now amk..maybe realised that she sms the wrong person ME : u can take the kids anytime now. they dah ready. i baru makan ubat, a lil drowsy now. u come up and fetch the kids, takut i tertido. i m switching off my hp soon. SHE : k i jst abt 2 sms u asking whether dey r ready or not. i damn well know she have anak buah at amk but not in hougang. only her sons are in hougang... unless... she didn't tell her so-called new boyfriend that she have 2 boys lah. i talked to the kids about it and of courselah, rayyan said he's angry that his own mother doesn't declare them as her son to her new boyfriend. but i told rayyan to chill about it. so when the mum came later, he went inside my room to ask whether should he confront his mum or not. i said just leave it.. keep mum and behave. both said they dun wish to stay for 1 whole month in woodlands, wanting to come back on 16th when i said to come home after 20th. i juz can't believe my eyes when she tersalah hantar sms. if i were her, i'll choose a guy who can accept my kids first coz then i'll know whether the guy is sincere or not. juz like my marriage to dar.. i have accepted the facts (although not completely when it comes to his whole family) that i have 2 step sons but i am not ashame to acknowledged the 2 boys as my own son. maybe pa is.. still embarrassed to answer questions about me marrying a divorcee with 2 kids coz there are occasions when he told me not to bring the boys but i simply cannot bring myself to follow his instruction. Ni lah dia.. diluah mati emak, ditelan mati bapak... *sigh*

ohhh mannn.. i was so happy yesterday upon seeing fantasia's victory in AI! god, was she good! forget her cry baby character, it's her voice and attitude that conquered the whole world. i was so glad she won the title american's idol. *big appluase* *big applause* i shall be busy today doing some accounts work. the more I blog-read or blog-hop, the longer my colleagues shall wait for their salary check.. hehe.. so in order for me to do some nice shopping trip during the weekend, i guess i'd better get back to work. before that, just wanna wish you guys out there a good weekend. i'll try and pop in again later on if i have the spare time... as per always! toodleloooooo peeps...

got not much to say today except do check out my cat's photo, link is above under CATZ (just click it). for my two precious darlings Gerl & Huzey, here's for both of you : gentle eyes that see so much paws that have the quiet touch purrs to signal 'all is well' and show more love than words could tell graceful movements touched with pride a calming presence by our side a friendship that takes time to grow small wonder why we love you so mummy and ayah will love you forever.. perhaps both of you came by as god's transformation of our long-hoped baby coz you know our sadness, you wiped away my tears with your paw, you cuddled in our arms as though you knew that we yearn for one and you obeyed our instructions without much hastle. why i said that. whenever i cry, huzey will never fail to stare me in the eyes then cuddle beside me and purposely put his paw on my face as though wanting to wipe away my tears. he'll sleep in our arms, snores like dar and will sleep for hours when cover with blanket or comforter. gerl, being dar's favourite never failed to obey our instructions; she cleans herself when she knows she's dirty and when i said clean herself, you can hear the swashing sound of water being scooped out from the pail in the bathroom and that is gerl, scooping the water out to clean her face, her paws and then licking the water using her paws. when asked to behave or sit, she will sit, never a nuisance to us. the two cats who has been our companion or shall i say my companion in my room, afraid to go out, afraid of strangers and afraid of other new cats. love them both.. muackss muackkss..

i had this posted as draft coz my pc doesn't look alright.. perhaps still under virus attack. i was at home the whole of today and was early dismissed from work yesterday at 3.30pm. went to the clinic yesterday night and doctor said I had gastric flu ~ diarrhea, vomitting, nausea, fever and wind. plus, my two boys came back from school running a fever. unexpected event of my life and staying home today was one hell of nightmare coz there's absolutely nothing to do at home. can't do washing, can't watch tv, can't even sleep coz there's no fan.. all due to the shutting down of electricity from 8am to 5pm in my block coz of the upgrading work! damn! just my luck to get stay home today! i wanted to post about the previous event that happened within this week. i'll have to take that opportunity today or else i wouldn't be able to do that tomorrow coz i'll be busy in the office by then. last friday, the kids mum or shall I say the bitch came to my house with her dad. before that she called me up asking a favour, to write a letter stating why the kids are staying with us. she needed that as proof to submit to syariah court. i dunno why but she told me she's going thru a divorce and her current husband wants to fight over the custody of their daughter. so i prepared the letter after discussing it with dar and if she's being clever enough, she wouldn't have sign the letter that i prepared coz all the reasons that i have stated in there signifies the true reason why the kids are with us, showing only a portion that we took both kids coz their step-father (the bitch's current husband) don't like the kids. BUT she signed it and we were grateful that she did. at least, that will serve the purpose if she decided she wants to play punk with us in near future. i dare say that she wants the custody of her daugther so that she can use it against the husband for maintenance money etc.. just like how she does it before to dar when the boys are with her. as sly as she can be, I can be even sly-er than her.. if that's the right word to use! and when she took the kids during the weekend, i was extremely FINE with it. the kids knew i was hurt coz their own mother showed up at my doorstep to take them out when we've already had planned to go out. its my fault anyway coz my hp was off and she tried calling.. so when she couldn't get me, she came to the house. the kids came back on sunday blurting every story they could find. i didn't even taught them how! i would have to say, they are now growing up and they know who is better and who is the best. i wouldn't say I'm the best but at least i try to be a better mum each day. so the story that the kids came telling me and dar kinda shocked us and i dunno why the bitch decided to tell the kids about it anyway. that the bitch now has a boyfriend and they have went for a holiday in KL recently together. wow! that was fast. and to hear the story that her husband actually committed the adultery, i began wondering why.. this is not the first time anyway for her. with dar, she had done dat as well.. and when we went to syariah court back in year 02 to get custody of dar's youngest son, she was there with another man when she was actually married with her current husband. well, i just dunno how she can managed a life like that.. got married, make babies, divorce... 2 ex-husband, 3 kids and a boyfriend.. aye.. a bitch will always remain a bitch ain't it? now i know why dar said that whatever i have suggested to him before was absolute nonsense.. now i know who is the nonsense.. kherkher..