Am I That Evil Or She Is?

I have never been an evil step-mother. I have never worked on potions. I have never cast on spells. I have never ill-treat them. I have never been unfair. I have never push their needs aside. I am always the loving but nagging mother. Nagging for their best. Which mum don't nag, you tell me. Even little baby is not spared you know.

But life is unfair. Life is cruel to a mother who stands by children not of her own, who speaks for children not of her own, who sacrifice her own needs for children not of her own, who treats that children not of her own as her own. Eldest remained, youngest go. Go travelling back to his natural mother who knew the child weakness. MP4, the bait. The still-needed-attention-child ate the bait and left home never to come back. It was suppose to be a trip to mum's, take the MP4 and return home. Dejavu? No, that happened last year and the last last year and last last last year as well. The school holiday term which she probably marked on her calendar every year as School Closed So Its Family Wrecking Day.

The trick of an old witch which is more evil than any Snow White or Cinderella's step mother we have known but never foresee thinking the still-needed-attention-child has grown up and will make his own decision. No. It was not his decision. He said it himself, Mum asked me not to go back, but he did not retaliate. He was fine with that decision. Showering love is never enough, children nowadays needs branded stuff and goods to show off. How cruel of life, nothing like my time.

Should I Call It Quit?

On hiatus? Nope. Missing? Nope. Recuperating? Nope. Lazy? Yes. I have been so lazy to update this blog of mine. I even have contemplate to just close this blog due to laziness but the archive somehow reminded me of the years I have been blogging and I felt so 'sayang' to just close and forget. So peeps, I may not be updating regularly but I for sure will not close this blog (until its really fated?).

What have been happening lately? Hubby recently got his licence for Heavy Vehicle and a new job as a prime mover driver. We've been driving around in his big trailer and it was damn syiok coz its like a big monster on the road, to the extent that both of us felt funny when sitting back in his car. Hah!

On the kids, Riyan passed his exam with not so flying colors but he managed to go up 1 level to Primary 6. Son, I will grill and drill you upon you purchasing your P6 books. Let's wait and have fun, shall we? Rayyan's PSLE results is coming out this week. While the young chap is so relaxed, I am having butterfly in my stomach as though I am the one who sat for the exam. Chet! Sarah is growing and learning. Her face is getting rounder each day and she's going for a short break with her grannies & aunties this Wednesday, leaving behind her mummy and daddy ALONE with each other's company. Danger!

Dinggggg dooonnngggg! At the strike of midnight on Sunday, I turned 31st. I cannot believe it! I'm 31!! Felt so tua (read : old) liao. Anyways, my thank you list goes on like this...

1) My mum! First kopek who wish me happy birthday & gave me a bracelet like 1 week before my birthday.

2) Syalin. My long time girlfriend who wish me over Multiply.

3) Fitri & Wife. Hubby's friend wishing over Multiply.

4) Kak Noy. The 1st kopek who sms-ed that very morning (exact lak tu - time is 00:00hrs) on my birthday. Psst.. I think I reply but dunno get through or not coz my card value low liao. Kherkher.

5) Droolz. The 1st kopek who sang me birthday song at 9.30 in the morning and who accompanied me to Liang Court and whose husband treated me dinner that same day. Thanks RJ!

6) Lia & Kak Mil for the sms. Kak Mil - sorry ler, by the time I saw your sms, it was this morning. So tired yesterday that I slept early.

7) Lastly, my sweet husband & the 3 kids for waking me up from my sleep and sang me birthday song and presented me with a cake. Sarah blew the candle on my behalf.

8) My long time buddy, Rose, for the e-card.

So there you go, my thank you list for the birthday wish. I hope I did not miss anybody! For those who haven't wish me, its okay.... nothing great. But as I see the wishing list this year, I felt a little bit down coz there is this 1 person who never fail to say Happy Birthday each year and this year, there is no greetings or call from him. No, its not mua daddylah, he never wish one lah every year. Haha! Guess who?? Haiyah... heartbroken already. How can he not wish me? He wished me every year, this year he probably have forgotten or dah malas nak wish agaknyer. Sampai hati dier.... *sobs* *sobs*

Salam Aidilfitri

I hope I am not too late. To all my fellow blogmates & readers, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, maaf zahir & batin di atas segala percakapan, tulisan, tingkah laku dan perangai yang tidak disenangi. Halalkan makan & minum jika ada. Not forgetting my greatest thanks for all the warm wishes. More pictures can be found in here

Past, Present, Future Tensed

Yes. I am back. In fact, I was back in the office last Friday but due to workload, am not able to post anything here. A long big sigh. The surgery is done, test result is out and damaged done but to think and dwell more on the future, it seems so bleak. I felt like time is ticking so fast, with each day gone by and again the future, I rather not think. I have made my decision and told the surgeon to give me time off till after Hari Raya before I surrender myself under the knife.

There is so much things to tell but I just don't know where to start. Anyways, the Sedara Eson Iftar 2006 went well. I bet this is so dah basi post and as the Iftar was on the 7th (the period where I was on crutches), I couldn't take along the office DGcam. The JB sahur trip was the fun-dest (what a word!). Really happening that it stretched till 5 in the morning on Sunday? Even my baby was enjoying herself and not sleeping. Chet! I had to stay awake in the car coz Hubby was so sleepy he cannot focus right on the road. We got home safely and all slept like a log. Thanks to our wonderful Abg Abu for the treat and all the cuzzy for making this event a success one. Looks like we should already be making plans for the Hari Raya convoy. Again, make it on the weekend like a Saturday perhaps. RJ (Rosley Jimaen) has been sexcited on the barbeque event in December which the guys discussed. For that, I have to leave it to Droolz to plan it?

On the news of my foot, the surgeon have confirmed the growth is not cancerous. Hoorah? Not yet. The bad news is, he gave me only 1 blardy option - to amputate. When that news hit me last week, I can feel my heart stopped. Hubby was against it and thought the surgeon request to just amputate was a riduculous one. Of course, there was a heated discussion in the room, from the waiting time of 2 hours just to see the blardy surgeon and another 45 minutes on explaining the surgery procedure, the pros and cons. I definately cannot have this leg cut and thrown away. I can walk still, for God's sake! So, I chose my own option and see how things go from there. I told the surgeon that I wish to take some times to think and I will then see him on 14th November 2006. My option is to have that growth thrown away and it will be a nasty surgery. They will remove the whole like-tennis-ball growth and then replace that area with my back muscle. The cons - the veins and blood vessel might not function well after the surgery and if not functioning well, the toes may turn black and again, amputation recommended. I felt like running away and not coming back to that hospital. But before I could bersuara, the surgeon, as if he already know what's on my mind, reminded that it would do me no good by running away from the problem. Nak menyesal pon tak guna, jendul dah makin besar baru nak jumpa doktor. But what to do, luck was not on my side. Just when I wanted to have it remove last 2 years (when it was still small of course), I was pregnant and the radiologist turned me away for the MRI Scan. Then I lost my job. Then I land myself into this job. All the reasons which is just not in my favour. Blearghh...

Iftar 2006

Dear Sedara Eson,

Thank you for the comments ~ very much appreciated. I can't wait already, kalau boleh ni malam jugak nak jumpa. Heh! Anyways, please make your family available on the following date.

Saturday, 7th October 2006

We have yet to decide on the followings :-

1. Meet for Buka?
2. Meet for supper & Sahur?
3. Meet for both? In between, kopi2 or lepak-lepak but cannot gossip hor. Heh.

Please decide by before this Friday. Your comments again please especially the venue. We're like East meets West so central is very much appreciated.

A stern warning to all - please don't buih hokay. I made this specially for you alls my beloved cousin until I have to tell my husband not to go to work if there is any this Saturday.